Haley Ivers has shared her confusion over what she should do with her surname when she marries her husband-to-be Shaun. She would like to take his surname, but is sure people will think she is weird.
A modern marital naming conundrum
Getting engaged and wedding planning is a very exciting time for many couples. Whether you've been together for years, or just a shorter amount of time, after saying 'yes' there's little else you can think of other than spending the rest of your lives together and details of the wedding such as dresses, colour scheme and rings.
In the 21st century it's less common for women to automatically take their husband-to-be's surname, with many opting to keep their own or hyphenate instead. Some couples may have already had a conversation about if they would change their surname, while others might only start thinking about it closer to the day.
The unique naming predicament
But for one woman, Haley Ivers, the process is not so simple. Haley has questioned what she should do with her name, due to a huge issue with her fiancé Shaun's surname. Shaun's surname is Haley, meaning that if she took his surname she would become Haley Haley.
In a TikTok video, she said: "Well here's a dilemma because my fiancé's last name is Haley, and I just happen to be Haley, so do I become Haley Haley or like, what do I do? Do I change my name, do I not? I asked the internet and got nearly 7,000 comments and suggestions and I thought we could go over them all in no particular order."
Public opinion and suggestions
Many people encouraged her to change her name anyway due to the "rare opportunity" and thinking it would be "cool". But others warned against it as people would question her every time she filled out any form of paperwork.
Another user told her she should hyphenate her name to Haley Ivers-Haley due to it being "chic". Haley said: "A lot of people said to hyphenate and specifically that. You tell me why it's chic."
A third comment the woman received was to just go by Haley, like Madonna or Cher, "because Haley Haley is redundant" or to call herself "Haley Squared".
Practical considerations and personal identity
She said: "That has been a joke of ours since we met, but I don't know if I actually want my last name to be squared. It's a little weird, it's funny but permanently, I don't know. Other people said we should merge our last names to make a new family name. Iverly? I don't think so. Halvers?"
Many people also encouraged Haley to keep her own surname due to it being a "really cool name" and the fact changing your name is a choice and not a requirement.
She said: "It's my business name, it's my social handle, my website, which brings me to paperwork. Paperwork would be an absolute nightmare. Seeing Haley Haley written on paperwork would confuse a lot of people."
Expert opinions and logistical warnings
One user said: "Haley Haley is objectively cool and hilarious. BUT heavy point that you will constantly be clarifying that 'yes, my first and last name ARE the same', a lot of secretaries are gonna think you're stupid at first."
"Personally, I'm planning to change my name in the future so that I'll match my future kids, but since your business is in your maiden name (and idk anything about you re kids), that's another reason to keep your og name."
Another person said: "Girl. Do not hyphen. It’s a logistical nightmare with government documents. Some recognize the hyphen. Some don’t. Then you are standing at TSA and they say your ID doesn’t match your ticket because one has a hyphen and one doesn’t. Don’t do it."
A third added: "Haley Haley is amazing you would be as iconic as the Taylor Lautner's."
This unique naming dilemma highlights how modern couples navigate tradition, personal identity, and practical considerations when approaching marriage in contemporary society.
