Adult siblings can strengthen their relationships by taking holidays together, as one writer found during a spa staycation with her sister at Hoar Cross Hall in Staffordshire. The trip provided the extended, unstructured time needed to move beyond surface-level updates and reconnect as adults.
Why sibling time matters
Olivia Ter-Berg, a Formats Producer, grew up with three sisters and describes the dynamic as special, though finding time to spend together as adults often feels impossible due to work and life admin. Psychologist Jo Stuart says sibling relationships, like any other, require attention. 'If we don't invest in them, it becomes more difficult to connect with that person,' she explains.
Jo notes that coffees and dinners often become a list of life updates, but going away gives space to move past that. 'Holidays can be that kind of forced extended space where other conversations open up,' she adds.
A spa staycation at Hoar Cross Hall
Ter-Berg took her sister to Hoar Cross Hall, which boasts one of Europe's largest state-of-the-art spas and offers amenities including archery, axe throwing, and mimosas at check-in. Their room had one of the biggest beds she'd seen and two baths in one bathroom. The sisters reverted to their inner children with a jump test before planning their itinerary.
Activities included a sleep session, a water sound bath, and a sauna experience. Ter-Berg, normally a wimp about heat, enjoyed it when a woman dramatically fanned everyone while aromatherapy scents filled the room. They also chatted with two other sisters, also two of four siblings on a staycation, bonding over how hard it is to make time for each other as you get older.
For spa treatments, the sisters used an online generator to fairly decide who got what. Ter-Berg had a 60-minute face and body ritual using Grown Alchemist, while her sister used ELEMIS Expert. Ter-Berg, who had never used Grown Alchemist before, loved the products and praised Zoe, who did her treatment.
The psychology of family roles
Jo Stuart explains that families assign roles to us when we're young, often subconsciously—the chatty one, the quiet one, the responsible one, the baby—and those characters can become 'written in stone'. Going away together, she says, 'allows them to see you, and you to see them, in a different light outside of the family, as an adult.'
As the youngest sister, Ter-Berg appreciated that perspective. Meals at Hoar Cross Hall were included, eliminating debates about where to go or who was paying. She had the slow-cooked braised beef, which was excellent, and enjoyed the wine selection, though it wasn't included. Waiter Alexa offered tasters and talked through each wine with enthusiasm.
However, some extras—like additional vegetables with dinner, coffee at breakfast, and flip-flops for the spa—came at an extra cost, which Ter-Berg would have expected to be included. Still, the meal times gave space to stop and catch up, moving from everyday updates into old memories, family drama, and hopes.
Ter-Berg recalled Jo's words: 'If we don't nurture things, if we don't spend time, then we begin to drift.' One-night spa stays at Hoar Cross Hall start from £210 per person per night in November.
