Financial pressures are increasingly forcing Australian couples to remain living together even after deciding to separate, a phenomenon known as "separation under the same roof" (SUSR). The cost-of-living crisis and lack of affordable housing are making it financially impossible for many to establish separate households.
Growing Trend of Separation Under the Same Roof
According to federal circuit and family court of Australia divorce application data, the proportion of divorcing couples who report remaining under the same roof after separation has risen steadily from 15% in 2020–2021 to 19% in 2024–2025. While data on de facto couples is virtually nonexistent, the trend is evident among married couples.
Elisabeth Shaw, a clinical psychologist and CEO of Relationships Australia New South Wales, says the cost of living is "front and centre" among reasons for delayed physical separation. "But there are two parts to it – one is affordability, the other is the lack of housing stock."
Financial Pressures as Relationship Stressor
Nearly a third of Australians report that the cost of living is putting pressure on their relationship, according to Relationships Australia research. It is the number one relationship pressure. However, the catch-22 is that financial pressures can also make separation financially impossible.
University of Sydney economists Professor Stephen Whelan and Dr Luke Hartigan found that rapid house price growth might be locking people into marriages. "The value of housing has an impact on a number of family decisions including on whether people have children or not and on whether they stay together or separate," Hartigan explains. "When you have higher house prices it's more costly to run two households so you're more likely to stay in one household."
Stories of Stuck Couples
Mary-Ann and Bill are an example of this trend. After their marriage effectively ended, Mary-Ann suggested moving out while the family home was prepared for sale, but Bill insisted she pay half the mortgage until the sale. "Nope, no, no, no, I'm not going to do that," she recalls him saying. "You have to pay half the mortgage until it's all done." For Mary-Ann, that was financially impossible, so they stayed together for five more months.
Shaw recounts the story of "Robert" and "Jane," who sought counselling after eight months under the same roof while trying to agree on property settlement and parenting arrangements. Robert had moved into his teenage son's bedroom, but the situation was untenable: the couple fought, and Jane spent much of the time crying. "They didn't have enough money to buy two homes and even two rental properties was a stretch," Shaw says. "Both were increasingly stressed but were stuck."
Practical and Emotional Challenges
Tara Houseman, a family law specialist at Relationships Australia NSW, has seen couples divide homes into zones and negotiate access to different areas. Mundane issues like emptying the dishwasher or electricity usage can become flashpoints. "We had clients who were living under the same roof and he would walk in the hallway and turn the lights on every time he'd go in, and she would walk in the hallway the next minute and turn the lights off – it was this kind of passive aggressive kind of thing."
Things become more fraught when one partner starts dating. "If one person says, 'Well, we're separated, so I'm going online and I'll be dating and if I'm out overnight you should tolerate that because we're separated', that can be excruciating," says Shaw. Children may witness one parent in tears while the other stays out all night.
Danger for Women in Abusive Relationships
For some women, separation under the same roof is not just uncomfortable but dangerous. Women can remain trapped in the same home as abusive partners partly because of the cost of striking out on their own. Sally Renfrey, a financial counsellor and national manager of the Centre for Women's Economic Safety money clinic, says, "On an income support payment it's virtually impossible to find an affordable rental. These are the impossible choices that women experiencing violence have to make, and it's all of those things that hold women in place."
One woman interviewed said her partner's violence escalated over five years and included repeated strangulation. Although she left several times, financial pressures repeatedly drew her back. "I just couldn't afford to live."
Uncertainty Over Assets
Renfrey notes that separating couples typically face a practical dilemma: if they own a property, neither party knows what assets they will have until it is sold and proceeds divided. That uncertainty makes it difficult to know whether they can afford to buy again or even rent. "There are two elements to it. One are external economic factors and macro factors of lack of supply and high cost, but the other is the lack of financial certainty until there is a resolution on the split of wealth."
Mary-Ann and Bill's experience illustrates this. Both were keen to sell the family home quickly and worked well as a team to fix it up. The real estate agent said they were one of the loveliest couples she'd ever worked with. "It was the first time in his life he'd been tidy without being told to." The arrangement was surprisingly amicable; some nights they watched television together. However, by the time contracts were exchanged, Mary-Ann's goodwill had worn thin, and she moved out six weeks before settlement. "If I had to keep looking at him I was going to become angry."
