Sorry, you are doing what? Staying up until 4am to watch Outer Mongolia versus the Isle of Wight? Have you lost your mind? No, you are just committed to enjoying this World Cup to the fullest, right? Fair enough. It is not our place to judge.
Even so, if you plan to keep burning the candle at both ends, you will need a proper coping strategy: your pre-match prep, match-night survival plan, and post-match recovery routine. Otherwise, you will end up a sleep-deprived wreck. Fortunately, Mike Ward has gathered plenty of good advice, plus one or two tips you might take with a pinch of salt.
Before Kick-Off: Preparation
Bank Sleep for a Few Days Beforehand
Plausibility: 10/10 Experts call this “sleep extension.” You cannot literally store sleep like a camel stores fat in its hump, but several nights of extra rest can ease the worst effects of late-night kick-offs.
Schedule a Pre-Match Mini-Nap
9/10 Have an early-evening snooze on the sofa for 30 minutes maximum. You might look like a slob, especially if you drool, but this “strategic napping” is something shift workers swear by. Set an alarm, though, or you will be in trouble. Ideally, set three.
Delay Your Caffeine Hit
9/10 Do not drink a bucket of coffee as soon as you finish work and hope for the best. Caffeine peaks about half an hour after consumption, so save it for just before kick-off. Also, maybe stick to half a bucket.
Pop Outside During the Day
9/10 Your body needs daylight to regulate itself, making a late night less traumatic. Take a daytime walk, sit in the garden, or even stand by a window. If the latter, please remember to wear clothes this time.
Eat Properly
8/10 A decent meal a while before kick-off, nothing too heavy, can help sustain energy. That way, you will not raid the larder at 3am, stuffing your face with fistfuls of Coco Pops straight from the box.
Go Easy on the Booze
10/10 Overdoing alcohol is a bad idea. Before the match, it could make you nod off. Afterwards, it will ruin the quality of any sleep you get. During the game, you will just talk nonsense to the cat.
During the Match: Survival
Get Up at Half-Time
10/10 Stand up, walk around the room, make a brew, do some star jumps, or play the trombone. Actually, maybe skip the last one. Just do not sit there listening to pundits drone on.
Turn Lots of Lights On
9/10 It may be 2am, but this is not the time for mood lighting. Switching on lights tells your brain it still has work to do, like worrying about your next electricity bill.
Watch with a Mate
8/10 Conversation keeps you awake, assuming your friend wants to talk about football rather than interest rates or roadworks on the M1.
Grab Something Cold
6/10 Not a lasting solution, but it helps. Clutch an ice-cold Coke can, splash your face with cold water, or open the fridge and stare at that old tub of yogurt you have meant to bin since Christmas.
Munch on a Sharp Green Apple
3/10 Often recommended by long-distance drivers and shift workers. The acidic tang, crunch, water content, and natural sugar might help, or it might just be the noise you are making.
Take a Cold Shower
7/10 Want to jolt your nervous system? It sounds hideous, but a cold shower can increase alertness and lift your mental state, which by this point might need it.
After the Final Whistle: Recovery
Put Down Your Phone
10/10 Why are you looking at social media? Even during the day, it is full of people winding you up. Imagine what it is like after a 4am final whistle.
Don’t Sleep Until Lunchtime
9/10 A lie-in is fine, but push it too far and you will pay the following night. Aim for enough catch-up to function, not so much that you stare at the ceiling tomorrow night like a haunted meerkat.
Wear Sunglasses Next Morning
7/10 Some sleep specialists recommend limiting bright light after a very late night. You may get odd reactions shuffling around Asda in shades, but your brain will thank you.
Wear Loose Socks in Bed
8/10 An old wives’ tale scientists do not entirely dismiss. Warm feet widen blood vessels near the skin, helping heat leave your body. That temperature drop tells your brain to nod off. Plus, you look dead sexy.
Have a Warm Milky Drink
5/10 The classic. Milk contains tryptophan, which your body can use to produce serotonin and then melatonin. It does not contain enough to make a difference, but tell yourself it does and you are halfway there.
Put an Onion Under the Bed
1/10 It does not matter what kind of onion: brown, red, white, spring, or pickled. As a sleep aid, they are equally useless. You might as well use an onion bhaji.
