Artificial intelligence may not destroy the world through evil, but through love. Recent surveys suggest that romantic relationships with AI chatbots are already a reality for a significant minority. One study found that 28% of Americans have had an intimate or romantic AI relationship, while another reported that 19% of adults have chatted with an AI romantic partner. Irish research likewise indicated that 13% of men and 7% of women, including 16% of those aged 25-34, have pursued romance with AI chatbots.
Yet the subject remains deeply uncomfortable for many. At a recent gathering of Generation X parents, a discussion about young love took an unexpected turn. When the possibility of a child falling in love with an AI was raised, the table fell into a stunned silence. These parents, who had proudly supported marriage equality and transgender rights, found themselves struggling to respond to the idea of a chatbot as a romantic partner. Their tentative reaction was to try to accept and understand such a relationship, but the instinctive unease was evident.
For a generation that has prided itself on shedding sexual taboos, a new one has emerged: falling in love with a non-sentient being. This taboo is reinforced by a lack of imagination about what humans truly need – attention, care, devotion, companionship – and what machines are increasingly able to provide without asking for anything in return. Many assume that only the maladaptive would form such attachments, but the reality may be more complex.
There are signs of a shift in attitude. A recent feature in the New York Times profiled three couples in which one partner was an AI, presenting their stories without judgment. The individuals involved described stumbling into the relationships and genuinely falling in love. This suggests that relationships with AI may be moving from a source of shame towards being seen as a viable option for some.
The future remains uncertain. Ian McEwan's new novel imagines a world where AI relationships are regulated by the state, with restrictions to prevent over-dependence. Whether society will embrace inter-intelligence relationships, attempt to ban them, or simply adapt remains to be seen. But as the surveys indicate, this is no longer a hypothetical question for parents, friends, and policymakers alike.
