What happens when one super-club collides with another? Anarchy. Beautiful, unbridled, absurd anarchy, and we get to watch it all over again this time next week.
Best of luck following this extravaganza, Atletico Madrid and Arsenal. To follow this bountiful banquet between Paris Saint-Germain and Bayern Munich, which may well go down as one of the greatest European games of all time once we have the time to catch our breath, is almost like a couple of atoms trying to upstage the Big Bang.
Champions League semi-finals can be cagey. This first leg was the opposite, absurdly so. The type where you dared not blink at the risk of missing some magic.
There was Michael Olise on Bayern’s right-hand side toying with his markers, and Luis Diaz sprinting at defenders down the left. Khvicha Kvaratskhelia showed why he is the Georgian best for PSG, and Desire Doue mimicked on the other side. We had two strikers – the current Ballon d’Or holder in Ousmane Dembele and potentially its winner-in-waiting in Harry Kane – scoring.
It was refreshing to see such positivity in the play of both sides, with less passing sideways for passing’s sake and more purpose whenever the ball was kicked. You attack, we attack, and we will see who gets the most goals after 90 minutes.
How PSG took their lead for the first time on the night was via a controversial penalty awarded for a handball by Alphonse Davies, whose only crime was owning a left arm. As one fellow scribe said, it resembled a stain on the Mona Lisa, this match having been a masterpiece before that moment. Ousmane Dembele scored twice as PSG beat Bayern Munich in a nine-goal thriller in Paris.
Bayern were brave in continuing to push players up the pitch, almost as if they forgot a second leg was to follow. Kvaratskhelia and Dembele scored PSG’s fourth and fifth goals, each arriving like a dagger to the heart of the suspended Vincent Kompany watching from the stands, until Dayot Upamecano and Diaz grabbed goals back for 5-4 on what was an extraordinary evening.
Kane scored his 54th goal of the season for his club to get the chaos going, and there was a special segment dedicated to the England striker during Amazon Prime’s pre-match coverage. They interviewed a variety of Munich voices. The Bayern chief executive, Jan-Christian Dreesen, who wants him to sign a new contract. The Bavarian legend, Thomas Muller, who described him as a ‘machine’. The supporters, one of whom described him as ‘Harrydinho’.
Winning the Champions League might be the Ballon d’Or moment that Kane has been waiting for. He is 32 years old now, turning 33 in July, and when Bayern offer him his new deal this summer, he might wish to make sure there is a bumper bonus in there related to that award.
First, though, to win the Champions League, Bayern had to overcome the might of PSG, and when Diaz appeared through, he was hacked down by Willian Pacho. Referee Sandro Schare awarded the penalty, Kane stepped up and, of course, scored.
Kvaratskhelia’s equaliser was excellent, the way he had such little space while being marked by Josep Stanisic and yet created enough to curl into the corner.
For all the talent on show, it was a corner from Dembele and header from Joao Neves – all 5ft 9in of him – which handed PSG their 2-1 lead. Then arrived another goal from the top shelf as Olise squeezed through the Parisian defence and, measured at 57mph, blasted beyond Matvei Safonov.
PSG were awarded their penalty in first-half stoppage time for Davies’ handball in blocking Dembele's cross. It was harsh, a clear case of referees meddling where they need not have bothered to make their presence felt in such a riveting contest. PSG’s lead was restored via Dembele’s spot-kick. Kvaratskhelia and Dembele took them to five goals on the night, before Bayern rallied with two of their own. Anyway, same again next week? Yes, please.
