Dave Portnoy, the outspoken chief of Barstool Sports, has once again made headlines with his relentless trolling of Ohio State University, this time delivering a blistering minutes-long rant just before the latest chapter of one of American college football's most intense rivalries.
A Merciless Pre-Game Onslaught
The media mogul, a famously devoted Michigan Wolverines fan, was present in Ann Arbor on Saturday as part of Fox's Big Noon Kickoff pregame coverage. Seizing the national platform, Portnoy launched into a brutal mockery of the Buckeyes, focusing intently on their prolonged failure to defeat his team.
Portnoy declared it had been "2,191 days since Ohio State beat Michigan," a statistic dating back to November 30, 2019. He was dressed for the occasion in a yellow and navy plaid Michigan parka, complete with a distinctive wolf head hat.
"There are people born in Ohio who have never seen the Buckeyes beat Michigan," he taunted. "And these morons on stage all year, 'Hey Dave, are you nervous about Ohio State?' You know what I say? Easiest game on the schedule. We beat them every single year."
He concluded this part of his tirade with a bold prediction, shouting, "EASIEST GAME ON THE SCHEDULE... IT'S GOING TO BE FIVE IN A ROW AFTER TODAY."
Historical Hyperbole and Dismissing Excuses
Not content with simply stating the facts, Portnoy employed hyperbolic historical comparisons to emphasise the length of Ohio State's drought. He claimed, incorrectly but for comedic effect, that at the time of the Buckeyes' last victory, Britney Spears's '...Baby One More Time' was topping the charts, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' was the number one TV show, and 'Shakespeare in Love' had just won the Oscar.
He then moved to pre-emptively dismiss any potential reasons for a Michigan loss. "We've heard it all," he continued. "What will be the excuse this year? Will it be Connor Stalions? Signals? Your quarterback got concussed? You took a bus instead of a plane? We don't care!"
Portnoy painted a picture of complete dominance, asserting that Ohio State fans are so intimidated they "poke their eyes on the ground and cross the street" when they see a Michigan supporter.
A Temporary Truce and a Serious Plea
In a surprising move ahead of the game, Portnoy's characteristic bravado was briefly set aside for a serious message. On Friday, he posted a video directly addressing the Ohio State fanbase.
Referencing the disturbing aftermath of the 2024 game, where Ohio State head coach Ryan Day reportedly required security at his home due to severe backlash from his own fans, Portnoy pleaded for civility.
"This rant is for Ohio State fans eyes only," he captioned the post. "Listen I know we've had our differences I know Ryan Day and I don't get along but let's please keep it civil after we beat you guys again. There is no place for personal threats in this one sided rivalry. Thank you."
This momentary pause in hostilities, however, did little to mask the deep-seated rivalry and Portnoy's confidence in another Michigan victory, a confidence that was ultimately proven correct as the Wolverines secured their fifth consecutive win in the storied series.
