Kristi Noem's Husband Disputes Claims of Online Insults to Wife
Bryon Noem, the husband of former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, has publicly pushed back against a report alleging he insulted his wife during phone calls and online messages with a dominatrix. The 56-year-old told The Independent that the claims were "not all true," though he declined to provide further details when pressed for clarification.
Online Relationship with Dominatrix Revealed
The controversy stems from an interview published Friday in the Daily Mail featuring Shy Sotomayor, a 30-year-old sex worker known professionally as Raelynn Riley. Sotomayor claimed to have maintained an on-off online relationship with Bryon Noem since 2016, sharing recordings of phone conversations and screenshots of messages she said they exchanged.
According to the published messages, Bryon Noem allegedly told Sotomayor she was "so much better" than his wife and expressed a desire to transition to become a woman. In one particularly revealing message, the South Dakota insurance executive reportedly wrote, "I want to be your trans bimbo b****," and expressed wanting to change his name to Crystal and undergo plastic surgery.
Contrast with Kristi Noem's Political Positions
The alleged messages present a stark contrast to Kristi Noem's political record on transgender issues. As governor of South Dakota, she signed legislation banning surgical and non-surgical gender-affirming treatments for minors and barred transgender girls and women from participating in women's sports teams. These positions were central to her platform of conservative Christian values during her gubernatorial campaign.
The Daily Mail reported linking Bryon Noem's telephone number to the messages with Sotomayor, which also corresponded to an email address under the pseudonym "Chrystalballz666." This connection adds credibility to the claims while Bryon Noem maintains the report contains inaccuracies.
Multiple Models Come Forward
Sotomayor represents the second online model to publicly discuss interactions with Bryon Noem. Previously, Nicole Raccagno—whose Instagram name is "plastictrophybimbo"—told the Mail that Bryon Noem was in love with her. According to Sotomayor, Bryon Noem made similar declarations to her, including one message where he allegedly wrote, "I can see us leaving our spouses for each other."
The relationship reportedly began in 2016 but was abruptly cut off in 2020, coinciding with Kristi Noem's election as South Dakota governor. Sotomayor claimed she didn't learn Bryon Noem's true identity until they reconnected in October 2025, when he "just popped back into my life like a little groundhog."
Recording Conversations Due to Hypocrisy Concerns
Sotomayor explained she began recording their conversations because she felt Bryon Noem was being "hypocritical" in his behavior. "I felt he was very hypocritical for standing ten toes on American family values while he was in my messages about wanting to be a trans bimbo b****," she told the Mail.
During a period when his wife was overseeing a federal immigration surge in Minnesota, Bryon Noem allegedly confided in Sotomayor about his gender identity desires. "I want to be a Crystal so bad," he reportedly wrote on January 11. "I want to be a woman so bad."
Family Pressures and Communication Breaks
Messages showed Bryon Noem telling Sotomayor he needed to stop contact temporarily to deal with "family stuff." "Really bad at home. Really bad. I've got to go and figure me out. It's bad. Sorry and thank you," he allegedly wrote, adding that he was going to delete "all my stuff" and focus on himself.
When Sotomayor asked if this break was related to immigration enforcement activities, Bryon Noem reportedly replied, "And life." In later exchanges, when Sotomayor questioned how he could remain with his wife given her aggressive immigration policies, Bryon Noem allegedly defended Kristi Noem as "a good person" while still complimenting Sotomayor as "amazing."
Political Fallout and Family Dynamics
Kristi Noem was reportedly "blindsided" by the revelations about her husband, according to a statement released last week. A representative for the former Homeland Security chief did not immediately respond to requests for comment on the latest developments. The Noems have been married for nearly 34 years, adding complexity to the personal and political dimensions of this controversy.
This scandal emerges as Kristi Noem faces professional challenges, with reports suggesting she has been barely showing up for her new role at the State Department after being ousted by President Donald Trump in March. The Daily Mail previously reported that Bryon Noem engaged in a "bimbofication" fetish and sent tens of thousands of dollars to women online, along with photos seeking a "Barbie doll"-like appearance.
As the story continues to develop, Bryon Noem maintains his position that not all claims in the report are accurate, while evidence continues to surface suggesting a complex web of online relationships that contradict his wife's public political positions.
