Jacinta Parsons recalls the thrill of being called a 'good girl' as a child, but says the fear of being labelled 'bad' was more powerful. She remembers being mystified by a childhood reprimand and a family friend's 'bad girl' who peed on the lawn, which terrified her not because of the act but because of the wildness she recognised in herself.
In her new book, The Wisdom of Age, Parsons interviewed women in their 70s, 80s and 90s to ask if they were comfortable being thought of as difficult. She found that many had a glint in their eye at the suggestion. 'Difficult' had become a rallying cry, a sign they were on the right track and had reconnected with the girl who raged inside them.
These women clarified that being difficult was not done for its own sake, but because they were finally following their hearts, unmoved by social conditioning. 'Difficult' didn't faze them; it emboldened them, Parsons writes.
Parsons says that since her mid-30s, she felt a stirring to stop placating people, and by her 50s it was shaking her to get out. The older women she interviewed were not making it easy for others to violate rights or safety, and were speaking up, turning up to protests, or simply letting families know they would no longer tolerate bad treatment.
The author concludes that being a 'difficult woman' is now a badge of honour, a reconnection with the wildness that had been pushed down, and a sign of authenticity after years of playing the game.
