Summer Tao, a trans woman, recounts her journey of overcoming a lifelong needle phobia to self-administer weekly estrogen injections as part of her gender transition. She describes the moment a nurse drew four vials of blood, remarking on how calm she was, unaware of the significant personal victory it represented.
Childhood Fear of Needles
Since childhood, Tao had been terrified of needles, requiring restraint during dental and medical procedures. She acknowledges this fear as rational but realized it posed a barrier to her transition. Her gender journey began in 2020 during the pandemic, when lockdown reflection led her to tell her then-girlfriend Cara, 'I think I might be trans.'
Initially, Tao did not recognize her discomfort as gender dysphoria, thinking it was normal. Support groups helped her understand that her feelings were unusual, prompting her to pursue medical transition.
Switching from Oral to Injectable Estrogen
After a year on oral estrogen under a doctor's supervision, Tao's physician suggested weekly injections for better physiological results. Despite her dread, Tao agreed, prioritizing her transition goals. Her first self-injection was shaky and painful, but she completed it. Over subsequent months, she faced challenges like hitting nerve clusters and blood vessels, but her courage grew.
Tao notes that the process gave her a new appreciation for her body, as the visible changes from estrogen became tangible reminders of her progress. She emphasizes that longstanding difficulties can be addressed in unforeseen ways, and approaching them with an open mind leads to self-discovery.
Names have been changed. Originally published May 3, 2026.
