A woman has written to agony aunt Jane O'Gorman for advice after her fiancé suggested a threesome with his ex-girlfriend before they marry, claiming he needs to get her 'out of his system'. Jane warns that the proposal could open 'a can of worms' and urges the reader to think carefully.
The fiancé's request
The reader explains that her fiancé and his ex drifted apart in 2022 when she moved to Paris for a dream job. They tried a long-distance relationship, but she had a fling with a chef and they split. Now she is back in Britain, and he feels there is 'unfinished business' between them, complaining they split after five years without a proper 'goodbye'.
He swears he loves the reader and intends to spend the rest of his life with her, but believes that sleeping with his ex one more time would close that chapter. He has suggested she can simply watch if she doesn't want to join, as he doesn't wish to conceal anything. The ex, who has an on-off boyfriend, has agreed to go along with the plan if it makes him happy.
Jane's warning
Jane says the fiancé has 'a way of making his request sound reasonable', but questions what happens if he enjoys the reunion 'just a bit too much' or wants to carry on seeing her. She also asks how the reader can be sure this will be the last such request, and suggests that if he loves her, he shouldn't need anyone else.
Jane advises the reader not to do anything she's not comfortable with, to think the situation through, and not to be afraid to call off the wedding if things don't feel right. She suggests addressing her own feelings of insecurity and jealousy, and to 'tread very carefully'.
