Professor Green has spoken candidly about the moment he finally uncovered the explanation behind struggles that had plagued him for decades, confessing: "40 years of being me nearly killed me."
Transformative Diagnosis at Age 40
The rapper revealed that one discussion with a psychiatrist transformed the way he perceived his entire life, enabling him to understand behaviours and difficulties he had never fully grasped before. Speaking on the No Parental Guidance podcast, the 42-year-old described how receiving answers in his forties altered his outlook after years of holding himself responsible for experiences he couldn't comprehend.
He said: "I was 40 when I got my ADHD assessment and diagnosis. I was diagnosed combined. And 40 years of being me nearly killed me. I think like the cumulative and compounding effect of that being undiagnosed and therefore not even mismanaged, it was just unmanaged. And it just, it does, it accumulates, doesn't it?"
From Chart Success to Self-Understanding
The London artist became a familiar face in 2010 following the release of his debut album, Alive Till I'm Dead. Green, whose real name is Stephen Manderson, watched his first single, I Need You Tonight, climb to number three in the UK charts. He described how the diagnosis allowed him to understand experiences dating back to childhood, noting he had previously recognised aspects of his behaviour but never linked them to the way his brain functioned.
He explained that without any explanation for his behaviour, he had frequently been overly hard on himself and found that others could be equally unsparing. Receiving a diagnosis, however, did not serve as an excuse for his actions, but rather enabled him to treat himself with far greater kindness. He added: "You can then, I suppose, if you haven't already, which I definitely hadn't, you can try and be more forgiving of yourself."
Understanding ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder
The musician also described how coming to understand his ADHD has helped him explain certain behaviours to those around him, including why he constantly picks up on movement nearby and prefers not to sit with his back to a door. During the interview, Professor Green also disclosed that a year later he was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) Level 1, after his psychiatrist recommended he undergo an assessment following his ADHD diagnosis.
"So, ASD level one, which it still feels weird to me because autism is such a varying spectrum," he said, adding that although his own experience differs from those with more severe support needs, "my experience has not been an easy one." Reflecting on how his diagnoses transformed his understanding of himself, he said it initially made him recognise that many of the traits he had believed were unique to him were in fact common among people with ADHD.
Finding a Balanced Life
He said: "When I was diagnosed with it, I was like, oh my God, this is like paint by numbers. There's nothing unique about me. These aren't just, this is everyone with ADHD." Professor Green said that gaining an understanding of both conditions has provided him with a deeper appreciation of how they have influenced his choices, consistency and emotions throughout his life. He said: "I think now life is, for me, is just, or my experience of it, is a bit spiky and it's all or nothing. And it's just trying to stay a little bit more in the middle of that all or nothing and not going up with every up and not going down with every down."
