Debbie McGee, widow of legendary magician Paul Daniels, has revealed that while she has dated since his death a decade ago, no one has matched the magic of their 28-year marriage. Speaking from their marital home in Wargrave, Berkshire, the 67-year-old former magician's assistant said: "I've had a few boyfriends since Paul died and they've been lovely, but they haven't been serious. I love men's company and I've got male friends. I go out to dinner and we have a good giggle. I love the attention. But so far love hasn't happened. So, you know, watch this space…"
Spiritual Signs from Beyond
McGee, who worked as Daniels' assistant for 37 years after meeting him in Great Yarmouth in 1979, says the magician still plays tricks on her from beyond the grave by sending feathers as a spiritual 'hello.' She explained: "I feel Paul's presence everywhere. He's always with me. I see feathers everywhere and I look and say, 'oh yeah, you're with me.' I love the idea of the feathers and I would love to think it was true that they're letting you know they're thinking of you. It's a comfort."
Grief and Letting Go
Despite the passage of time, McGee admits that his scent has faded from his clothes. "I wasn't really aware of his smell fading. One day it just wasn't there anymore. But while his things may not smell of him now, when I look at his suits or his shoes, that's still him," she said. She has parted with some possessions but finds it difficult to let go. "I've still got loads, especially clothes. I sold quite a lot of tricks two or three years ago and I'm going to have another sale later this year. I've given odd bits to the family, but there's a wardrobe upstairs that's just crammed with costumes. That's one of the hardest things - to let go of their things feels like you're letting go of the person."
Brain Tumour Research Advocacy
Daniels was diagnosed with grade 4 glioblastoma, the most common and aggressive primary brain cancer in adults, in February 2016 and died a month later on March 17, aged 77. McGee is now a patron of Brain Tumour Research and is calling on the government to prioritize brain tumour patients. She said: "Andy, I know that there is going to be a lot to take on, but please consider brain cancer research. I was horrified to find out that brain tumours are the biggest cancer killer of children and adults under 40, and the treatment hasn't changed in over 20 years. This is why the research is so important. There have been such advances in breast cancer, prostate cancer, which is great, but brain cancer is being left behind. When you're hit with a diagnosis like Paul was, there's almost nothing there and you feel helpless."
Coping with Loss and Finding Strength
After Daniels' death, McGee struggled with the sudden responsibility. "I expected to be sad and miss Paul, but I never expected the anxiety when he first died of every single decision being mine to make. The guttering needs doing. Paul used to deal with that. I had to learn quickly. After about four years, I suddenly thought one day, 'gosh you're stronger than you think'," she said. Keen to be financially independent, she asked for work the day after his death. "I was very aware that with double acts, once one partner can't work, the other one very rarely keeps a profile or can keep on working. So I rang my agent and said 'I need work.' Soon after a kind producer booked me onto a panto."
Life in the Spotlight
Putting on a brave face came naturally after a lifetime in showbusiness. "I've always had to get ready and go on stage or in front of a camera when something awful is going on. When my dad was dying, I was still doing shows. It's like, 'right, lipstick on, smile, get on with it,'" she explained. Since Daniels' death, McGee has appeared on Loose Women, Celebrity MasterChef, Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, Countdown, and various panto roles. She has also been touched by the kindness of strangers. "Older women would come up to me in the street and not say anything, just give me a hug and walk away. Even now, there isn't a day when somebody doesn't stop me and say, 'We really miss Paul. We watched your shows'. It's incredible. You would have thought people would have forgotten."
National Treasure Status
McGee, who is also working on her autobiography, says she now ranks officially as a 'national treasure.' "On the Queen's Platinum Jubilee parade invitation, it did say, 'We'd like to invite you as a national treasure.' That was the first time anyone had ever said it. So maybe it's official," she said. Reflecting on her relationship with Daniels, she noted that they nearly didn't happen. "He knocked me back for years because he thought I was too young."
Moving Forward
Now feeling ready to let go of more of his belongings, McGee said: "That's what grief is like. You turn corners all the time and think, 'Oh, actually, I could get rid of a few more things.' My life is becoming mine now. But he will always be a part of it in some way. I'm getting on with life and happy again. I have got to a position now where you just accept they're never coming back, and how lucky I was to have had him in my life. Lots of people don't have what I had. You know the old saying, 'grief heals in time?' They don't believe that anymore. They believe your grief stays as big as it was the day they die. But you have to create a bigger life around it. And that's what I've done. I say yes to everything, I keep myself really busy. With work, looking after my mum because she's 89 now, seeing family, having friends over. That's what brings me joy."
Strictly Come Dancing and Confidence
When McGee finished as runner-up with professional partner Giovanni Pernice on Strictly Come Dancing in 2017, later winning the 2019 Christmas Special with Kevin Clifton, she said Paul gave her the confidence to compete. "Before every live show, I used to say, 'darling, sit on my shoulder. I need some confidence,'" she recalled. Her biggest boost came from women's reaction to her dancing. "Women were coming up to me in the street and saying, 'we really thought we were over the hill and now you've made us realise we can do anything.' Eighteen-year-olds said, 'we want to be like you when we're your age.'"
Open to Love Again
Inspiringly positive, McGee still believes she could find love again. "I'm really happy on my own. But I'm not saying 'no.' I could walk into a room tomorrow and suddenly see somebody that I instantly fall in love with. I think that can happen because it certainly did with Paul." For more information visit www.braintumourresearch.org.
