Actress Hayden Panettiere, 36, has detailed her traumatic birth experience and subsequent battle with postpartum depression after welcoming her daughter Kaya with former fiancé Wladimir Klitschko. While promoting her new memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning, she revealed that she nearly died during childbirth.
Despite having a 'wonderful pregnancy,' the Nashville star experienced a difficult delivery. 'I had a really rough birth to the point where I almost didn't make it through,' she told CBS News' Gayle King. 'And then the postpartum depression started.'
Panettiere, who signed over custody of Kaya, now 11, to Klitschko in 2018, described her struggle: 'There I am with this beautiful, healthy, beautiful baby girl and this very fortunate life, and I could not for the life of me be happy. I was so depressed.'
The Heroes star said the experience left her disillusioned with her vision of motherhood. 'I had all these ideas in my head of what I wanted to do as a mom, as a parent. I think I was also scared because of what my mom did to me that I might do that to my child.'
Panettiere maintains contact with Kaya, who lives in Ukraine with her father, through FaceTime and in-person visits. 'I'm so blessed to have a great relationship with her. I fly over there as much as I can. I'm on FaceTime with her all the time.'
She shared a heartwarming story about her daughter's friends being fans of her 2006 film Bring It On: All or Nothing. 'She's now 11 years old and she's calling mommy more and more. She actually FaceTimed me the other day and she calls me Britney... Because her friends are fans of Bring It On.'
Panettiere also discussed her complicated relationship with her mother, Lesley Vogel, who pushed her into acting early on. 'When your mother has chosen to take the eight-month-old baby to the audition rooms... It just never stopped.'
Earlier this month, she spoke candidly about the 'heartbreaking' decision to give up custody amid struggles with addiction and postpartum depression. 'The idea that anybody would think that I would just give away my child and be okay with it is heartbreaking. Couldn't be further from the truth,' she said on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast.
She praised Klitschko for being 'incredibly supportive' and noted that she sought treatment for alcoholism but not postpartum depression, which left her feeling 'unfixable.' By the time her health improved, she felt Kaya had a wonderful life in Europe and it would be 'selfish' to uproot her.
Her memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning, is set for release on May 19.
