The festive season will forever be marked by profound loss for Tarsh Cooper, whose husband Ash died on Christmas Eve 2024, just one year after a devastating stage four bowel cancer diagnosis. The 'fit and healthy' 39-year-old civil engineer and father of three had his life cut short by an aggressive disease that was initially missed.
A Devastating Diagnosis That Came Too Late
Ash Cooper's story began with subtle signs that were tragically easy to explain away. In the months leading to his diagnosis, he had experienced some weight loss and noticed blood in his stools, which he attributed to work stress and his weightlifting routine. Despite visiting his GP, including for a prostate check in December 2023, he was reportedly told he was 'too young' and did not present enough symptoms to warrant further screening for serious conditions like bowel cancer.
It was only when he began suffering excruciating stomach pains, which he believed were gallstones, that he sought urgent hospital care. He was discharged with a referral for an ultrasound in late January 2024. However, as the pain became unbearable, his family in Tasmania pushed for an earlier scan.
The results were catastrophic. Just an hour after the ultrasound, his GP called him back urgently. Ash attended the appointment alone, still convinced it was gallstones. "I'll never forget that look on his face when he walked in the door. He just walked in and cried," Tarsh, 38, recalled. The scan had revealed an 8cm mass on his liver, suspected to be something far more serious.
By 4.30pm the following day, the couple received the shattering news: Ash, at age 38, had stage four bowel cancer. "It was surreal," Tarsh said. "I don't think either of us really slept or ate much for the first few weeks." In a cruel twist, just five days after Ash's diagnosis, Tarsh herself underwent emergency surgery to remove a collapsed lung.
An Aggressive Fight for Time
Despite rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and multiple hospital stays due to liver complications, the cancer proved fiercely aggressive. Ash began treatment on 12 January 2024, but his oncologist explained the goal was not a cure, but to prolong his life for as long as his body could respond.
"We just got bad news after bad news after bad news," Tarsh shared. "The results came back to say it was actually a very aggressive mutation. It felt like we reached a point where we were drowning."
Throughout his illness, Ash was determined to be present for his children—Ivy, Hazel, and Jack. He attended school events, including Christmas carols, despite being in significant pain. "I wheeled him there and had medication in my handbag," Tarsh said. "I just kept him as comfortable as possible."
A Final Goodbye and a Family's Mission
As his condition deteriorated, with dramatic weight loss and jaundice, Ash knew his time was ending. On 22 December, he told Tarsh, "It's time for me to go." He chose to be in the hospital, where his children felt comfortable. With his family by his side, Ash took his last breath at 10.20pm on Christmas Eve 2024. His funeral was held on what should have been his 40th birthday.
Tarsh describes her husband as a man who "lit up the room"—a smart, fun-loving, generous father and husband loved by all. Now, she and her children are navigating a grief that permeates every day. "This year is the hardest year of my life because I don't have Ash and the kids don't have their dad," she said.
To cope, the family is focusing on helping others. The children joined a grief support organisation called Feel the Magic and raised $10,000 for a cancer charity at a Relay For Life event in 2025. "The best way we can deal with our grief... is by looking outside of ourselves," Tarsh explained.
This Christmas, they plan to celebrate on a different date, away from home, to be free from expectations. "He's missing from every moment of every day," Tarsh said. "We will just take it one day at a time."
A Vital Warning on Early Detection
By sharing their story, Tarsh hopes to prevent other families from enduring similar tragedy. She is supporting Bowel Cancer Australia's Decembeard campaign to raise awareness.
"The reality is painfully clear: if Ash's cancer had been detected earlier, he would still be here with us," she stated emphatically. "This is now a young person's cancer. If you are worried about being a bother, don't... because I'd rather be a nuisance now than have to deal with everything that we've gone through."
Her message challenges the dangerous misconception that bowel cancer only affects the elderly. She urges anyone with persistent symptoms—such as blood in stools, unexplained weight loss, or a change in bowel habits—to seek medical advice and push for appropriate screening, regardless of age.
