A reader writes that a friend of 30 years keeps sending social media posts and videos that are either unfunny or disturbing. They live far apart and communicate via a messaging app. The reader has repeatedly asked for positive or cute content, but the friend continues to send multiple videos daily, including one of women slapping each other. The friend often believes conspiracy theories until disproven. The reader feels the friend does not consider their feelings and is unsure how to respond without ending the friendship.
Advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith suggests that the friend may be sharing content as 'bullshit'—indifferent to truth or the recipient's preferences. She notes that social media algorithms encourage mindless sharing, turning the reader from a friend into an audience. Since direct requests have failed, Eleanor recommends a new tactic: instead of serious disagreement, respond with bemused bafflement, such as 'What is this?' This signals that the reader is an outsider to that world, potentially breaking the cycle of mindless sharing.
Eleanor explains that people deep in algorithmic rabbit holes often do not realise their experience is not universal. Treating the content as strange rather than disturbing or false may be more effective. The reader should avoid somber tones and instead express confusion, which might prompt the friend to reconsider what they share.
