Toby-Alexander Smith, known for his chilling portrayal of Gray Atkins on EastEnders, has spoken candidly about his experience with post-natal depression after his wife, Emmerdale star Amy Walsh, gave birth to their two daughters. The actor, who is set to reprise his role as the villainous Gray, revealed that the condition left him feeling overwhelmed and helpless.
Recognising the Symptoms
Smith and Walsh welcomed their first daughter, Bonnie, in 2021, and their second, Nell, in March 2026. Post-natal depression affects approximately 1 in 10 fathers during the first year of their child's life, according to the pregnancy and baby charity Tommy's. However, fewer than 1 in 5 fathers seek professional help, as the condition is 'widely misunderstood and frequently overlooked by both patients and medical staff.'
Smith, who had prior knowledge of post-natal depression through Walsh's storyline on Emmerdale, where her character Tracy suffered from the condition, initially watched his wife closely for signs. 'I was watching her like a hawk, only to realise that some of those same symptoms were showing up in myself,' he told the Daily Mail. 'The highs and the lows were a lot, you know. And that feeling of helplessness and guess a feeling of failure at times.'
Lack of Awareness for Fathers
Smith noted that there is little reference point for dads experiencing post-natal depression. 'It was only really when I sort of delved into the research of mental health, you see that there is a community of men out there who are going through the same thing,' he said. 'There isn't any kind of reference point for dads. It's a growing community and more and more conversations are starting to happen now, which I think is amazing and, you know, so important.'
The actor channeled his experience into a short film titled Finding Calm, which he wrote and starred in alongside Walsh. The film centres on a first-time father struggling to connect with his newborn son.
Pressure to Be a Positive Role Model
Smith also spoke about the pressure he feels to be a positive male role model for his daughters, especially in the age of the 'manosphere' and rising misogynistic rhetoric. 'I think is so incredibly important, because I do think it's a scarier time,' he said. 'I'm hoping there's going to be a huge shift by the time they're introduced to technology and film, because I would be very daunted and anxious.'
He expressed concern about the influence of social media: 'Now, at the current time, there's a lot of noise on social media that's really not good and very unpleasant. I'd hate to think of my daughter being ten years older than she is now and seeing and hearing some of the conversations that boys and men are having. I'd like to think that it's gonna be a monumental shift because something's got to give.'
Support for Fathers with Post-Natal Depression
Tommy's lists common symptoms of post-natal depression in men, including feeling sad or hopeless, constant exhaustion, inability to cope, guilt, irritability, changes in appetite, sleep difficulties, anxiety, and thoughts of self-harm. The charity emphasises that symptoms can come on gradually or all at once.
Support options include NHS talking therapies, which offer cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and counselling. Dedicated organisations such as Mind (0300 123 3393), CALM (0800 58 58 58), PND Daddies (Twitter chat Tuesdays 8-9pm using #PNDDaddies), PANDAS Dads (private Facebook support group), Samaritans (116 123), and SMS4dads provide additional assistance.
