A woman in her early 50s, married for 25 years, is struggling with insecurity during menopause. She feels her husband is more attentive to other women than to her, leaving her emotionally disconnected despite a good sex life. She writes to Coleen for advice.
The Reader's Dilemma
The reader explains that since starting menopause, she has become insecure in her marriage. Her husband is comfortable and chatty with other women but gives her less attention. She always initiates affection and conversations, while he is proactive with others. She admits to jealousy and insecurity, partly because he is her first and only love, while he had past relationships. A recent row occurred when he gave a friend's wife a lift home from a party, leaving her waiting and annoyed.
Coleen's Advice
Coleen acknowledges that menopause affects women mentally, emotionally, and physically. She suggests exploring options like HRT with a GP or gynaecologist. She notes that the husband may have fallen into a rut common in long-term relationships, but the reader's lowered confidence amplifies the issue. Coleen advises clear communication about what is missing emotionally, as a wake-up call for the husband. She highlights the positive foundation of love and a good sex life for rebuilding romance and emotional connection.
Words of Wisdom
Coleen adds that loving someone doesn't mean they are good for you. Recognizing selfishness or imbalance may require walking away as an act of self-care.
