Kelsey Parker has bravely revealed the complex emotions she faces when attending public events in London, sharing that she often feels 'anxious' and struggles with the weight of other people's sympathy following the tragic loss of her third child.
A Year of Profound Loss
The television personality, who lost her husband Tom Parker to glioblastoma in March 2022 when he was just 33 years old, endured further heartbreak in June of this year when her unborn baby was stillborn. The child, named Phoenix, was her first with boyfriend Will Lindsay.
Kelsey, who is also a mother to Aurelia, five, and Bodhi, four, shared her feelings candidly with fans via Instagram on Friday as she prepared to attend a Christmas event at Claridge's Hotel in London.
The Struggle with Public Appearances
In a heartfelt video, she explained her current mindset. "I do feel like since losing Phoenix though, going out to London and doing things like this, not that I have anxiety because I don't want to claim that I've got anxiety, because I don't have anxiety," she began, carefully choosing her words.
"I don't know what the word is, because it's not even worry, I don't know what the word is, I feel a little bit anxious about going out. Not that I don't have the energy, it's almost like, do you know when you could say no, I could just be like, I could talk myself out of going."
Despite these feelings, Kelsey emphasised her determination to push forward. "Which, I'm trying not to do, because I need to go out and I need to do things because it's really good for me," she added.
Processing Others' Sadness
Kelsey identified a significant part of her struggle as dealing with the profound sympathy she receives from others. "I think also for me what the problem is, is I know how deeply sorry people are for me, and I think I don't take well to sadness, I think I find it hard to digest from other people's sadness for me."
She described how even after her daughter Aurelia performed, people approached her with emotional reactions, likely thinking about the significant losses the young girl has experienced in her six years of life.
"And I think that's my thought about going out, that I know people feel deeply sorry and sad for me, and I can feel that energy, and then I probably overcompensate, and I'm like 'I'm fine', which I'm not going to do, I'm not going to do that guys," Kelsey confessed.
A Message of Encouragement
Despite her personal struggles, Kelsey offered encouraging advice to others who might be finding it difficult to engage with life. "But this is a message for people that are doing that to themselves. Try and say yes to everything and go. Because I do feel like we're fed a bit of a narrative that it's like 'just say no,' but maybe just say yes."
The podcaster announced her devastating pregnancy loss in June with a poignant poem shared on Instagram, revealing that her son Phoenix had died one week before his planned due date.
She wrote: "The world grew quiet as you arrived, So loved, so longed for, yet not alive. Our precious boy, our angel light, Born with wings, took silent flight. We named you Phoenix, brave and bright."
Kelsey, who found love with tree surgeon Will Lindsay after Tom's passing, has previously spoken about facing online criticism for moving forward with her life. Speaking on ITV's Lorraine in March, she addressed the unwarranted guilt some people projected onto her.
"It's been three years, this is Tom's three-year anniversary of his death, and it's almost like people want me to feel guilty for moving on," she explained. "I'm always going to have guilt, but what's so hard is that Tom's not here anymore, so what do people want me to do?"
She emphasised the importance of creating a happy environment for her children, stating: "Our house was full of so much sadness, but now it's full of happiness. The kids deserve that more than anything."
