It is a widely held belief that, as we age, desire fades. Yet that may be far from the truth, if eye-opening new research is to be believed. A University of Oslo scientist, who interviewed older adults aged between 65 and 85, found many still had active and varied sex lives.
Surprising Findings on Senior Sexuality
Strikingly, she found some women experienced their first orgasms later in life, and others took lovers after decades of abstinence. Perhaps less surprisingly, many older men admitted they continued to enjoy intimacy with the help of erectile dysfunction medication or injections. Most also said they welcomed the rare opportunity to talk candidly about what goes on inside the bedroom.
Lead researcher Sidsel Louise Schaller, a psychologist, said younger generations and even medical professionals often assume older people are no longer interested in sex, largely because they struggle to imagine them as being sexually active. But her research challenged that belief, suggesting sexuality remains an important part of life well into older age, and should be treated as such. She added that it was vital to tackle the misconception and stigma that surrounds older people and sex: 'Societal ageist attitudes and a lack of knowledge in healthcare services about the sexual health in older adults create barriers to healthy sexual aging.'
Broader Context: Sexual Activity Among Older Adults
The findings come after research published in The Lancet in 2023 which showed that in England, 86 per cent of men and 60 per cent of women between the ages of 60 and 69 were sexually active. In the same study, 59 per cent of men and 34 per cent of women aged 70-79 said they still had intercourse, as did 31 per cent of men and 14 per cent of women over 80.
One of the 32 participants in the University of Oslo study, a woman in her 70s, barely had sex after turning 50 – but rediscovered intimacy later in life with a new lover. Another woman found love during her 80s and experienced her first orgasm with a male partner, who said she was the best sex partner he had ever been with.
Meanwhile, a 68-year-old woman in the study, named Silvia – who has a younger partner – said: 'I actually have better sex now than I have had in years. It is very powerful being confirmed by a younger man. He thinks I am the world's seventh wonder.' A 65-year-old woman named Ruth also said her partner, who is of a similar age, 'is so easy to fire up' and that sex 'is really fun'.
Ageing Bodies and Self-Confidence
Most adults Schaller interviewed also said that they were not concerned about how their ageing bodies affected their self-confidence. Instead, they were more focused on being able to perform physically. One, named Margot, 67, said: 'I think it is a relief to become older. When I was young, I used a lot of make-up, but I have become so confident now, so I never do that anymore. It is more than enough, this is how I look and I don't colour my hair… it's just fine getting old.'
Many of those in the study also felt that 'sex' could only be classified as such if it involved full intercourse, rather than other intimate acts. Schaller argues that it is important to acknowledge how sex can be beneficial to older people's health – both physically and mentally. She wrote: 'Satisfying consensual sex has been linked to better health outcomes, reduced stress levels, improved cognitive functions, higher self-esteem, and lower mortality rates.'
Generational Perspectives on Sex
Many of those Schaller interviewed grew up when discussing sex was seen as taboo. However, it was found that those who grew up during the 1960s sexual revolution - which saw the introduction of the oral contraceptive pill, as well as homosexuality and abortion being partially decriminalised – were more open to discussing sex and their desires in the bedroom.
Schaller says the findings do not mean that older people need to have an active sex life – and that some are happy without or simply cannot. But she says older people having sex should be an accepted part of culture and more widely understood.
