Selina Flavius, founder of Black Girl Finance, was with her partner Ray for 10 years and living together for seven when he died unexpectedly in 2022. As an unmarried partner, she had no legal rights to his affairs or funds, leaving her with nothing.
Legal Void for Cohabiting Partners
Flavius explained that being a long-term partner rather than a wife meant nothing in the eyes of the law. She had no say in managing his affairs and no access to his funds. The couple had no joint financial assets, though they had been saving for their wedding, which was six months away when Ray died.
Ray died on the day of his father's funeral, after suffering pneumonia which triggered a massive heart attack. Flavius, who has a finance background, initially suspected issues because they were not married, but only realized she had no rights after speaking with a solicitor.
No 'Common Law' Protection in UK
Friends referred to her as a 'common law wife', but Flavius learned that this does not exist in the UK. When someone dies without a will, they die intestate, and only spouses, civil partners, children, and other relatives inherit. Cohabiting partners are excluded.
Ray's house was jointly owned with his ex-wife. After his death, the house was transferred to his ex-wife, and Flavius felt like a stranger in her own home, moving out after a month. She was also kept out of the loop for his funeral, only learning where he was buried because the coroner recognized her as an interested party.
Financial and Emotional Devastation
Flavius had no access to Bereavement Support Payments, which at the standard rate is a lump sum of £2,500 and monthly payments of £100 for 18 months. She lived mostly on wedding savings from her own account and relied on her sister for accommodation.
She found support from the charity Widowed and Young, which helped her feel less alone. It took about two years before she felt able to move forward, building herself back up both emotionally and financially.
Call for Legal Reform
A government consultation to reform the law governing financial arrangements and protections when relationships end in England and Wales ends today. Called the 'fairer end to relationships consultation', it aims to address the changing way people live, with more couples choosing to cohabit without marrying.
Flavius encourages cohabiting couples to get their affairs in order but stresses the need for the law to catch up with modern living. She emphasizes that a shared life is still a shared life, even without a wedding, and that bereaved unmarried partners should not be made to feel they do not exist at the worst time in their lives.
