Retailers are selling Halloween merchandise in August, prompting humorist Dave Schilling to argue that capitalism and the climate crisis are conspiring to destroy the concept of seasons.
In a commentary for the Guardian, Schilling notes that despite 90F weather and sweltering conditions, stores like Target and CVS are already stocking costumes, life-size skeletons, treats, decorations, and even greeting cards for Halloween. He calls this a violation of the natural order, insisting that Halloween celebrations should start no earlier than late September.
Retail Creep and Climate Chaos
Schilling describes how a recent trip to Target revealed a growing spooky section, where a friend bought a miniature cauldron, planning to use it for keys or change. He laments that the tidy order of holidays is breaking down, with the Fourth-to-Halloween corridor shrinking each year.
The writer connects this retail creep to the broader climate crisis, noting that as distinct seasons become a relic, people might start celebrating holidays whenever they want, potentially buying Halloween items year-round online.
A Surrender to Data and Commerce
Schilling suggests that society is evolving to be unbound by calendars and nature, with holidays dictated by big data rather than harvest cycles. He concedes that if retailers have statistics showing consumer demand for Halloween in August, then data should be respected and worshipped.
He concludes that the cognitive dissonance of carrying a cauldron in August might be foreign to his son, as lives are increasingly measured by the movement of currency. He finds comfort in the knowledge that pumpkin spice season will arrive soon.
