Wolves have banned their fans from singing along to 'The Liquidator', a decision that has provoked a furious reaction from columnist Harry Brent, who calls it nanny-state nonsense and atmospheric vandalism.
The club has deemed it inappropriate to shout "F*** off West Brom" during matches, a statement Brent compares to "Chelsea: world champions" in terms of logical weight.
Brent asks whether football has become so limp-wristed that naughty words are being purged, and wonders what could be next – banning fans from yelling "Wheyyyy" when a player slips over, or locking turnstiles in case crowd noise distresses a local hedgehog.
Atmosphere under attack
Wolves have played The Liquidator by Harry J. All Stars before matches since the 1970s. New executive chairman Nathan Shi announced the decision to ban the track last week.
Brent argues that football matches are not fluffy safe spaces but cauldrons of emotion, drama, and hostility. He suggests that calls for bans on unpleasant chants may sound righteous but fail to recognise the knock-on effect.
He describes Molineux as having little going for it, comparing it to Craig Bellamy at Newcastle: small and unappealing. Stripping away the hostile atmosphere, he says, turns an already dreary ground into a sterile concrete mausoleum of middle-class awkwardness.
Transfer window pain
Brent also turns his attention to transfer windows, describing them as mostly a giant pain. He criticises supporters who celebrate players going on strike to force moves to their clubs, comparing their excitement to a cheap dopamine hit.
He cites Alexander Isak as one of dozens of high-profile footballers who have gone on strike to force through a transfer, and scoffs at fans who praise such players' commitment, noting that the same player would likely pull the same stunt when a bigger club comes calling.
He likens the celebration to cheering when someone cheats on their partner to be with you, and concludes that such players are motivated by fat pay rises and treat contractual obligations the way Cristiano Ronaldo treats his defensive ones.
