A woman who spent over a year recovering from a breakup is now facing an unexpected dilemma: her new boyfriend wants to form a throuple with his ex-girlfriend. Writing to Metro's Sex Column, the reader explained that she met a 'gorgeous guy' at a party in January, six months ago. He had also recently ended a long-term relationship, and they quickly developed what she describes as a 'fantastic relationship,' speaking several times a day and seeing each other three or four times a week.
But in early June, he dropped a bombshell. After having a drink with his ex, he realised he still had strong feelings for her. Instead of ending things with the reader, he proposed a throuple — a three-person relationship. He insisted he couldn't choose between them and suggested that if she met his ex, she would love her too. The reader was stunned and upset, but agreed to a phone call with the ex, who sounded 'lovely' and assured her the arrangement would be exclusive, not an open relationship.
Friends and counsellor advise caution
The reader's friends all think she is 'mad' to consider it, but she fears that saying no means losing her boyfriend, which she 'couldn't bear.' She turned to Laura Collins, a counsellor and columnist, for advice. Collins acknowledges that throuples can work for some consenting adults, but warns that uneven attention and jealousy are almost inevitable. 'Your boyfriend wants to make the idea sound wonderful as it would give him everything he wants,' Collins writes. She suggests he may not truly want a three-way relationship but lacks the courage to end things, or is even subtly hoping she will walk away.
Collins advises the reader to be strong: 'Don't be bounced into something just to please your boyfriend. There are other men out there who won't want to share you, which sounds more like the kind of relationship you really want and deserve.'
