Jeremy Clarkson has revealed his plan for surviving the apocalypse, and it involves heading to his brewery with a hamper from Fortnum's rather than stockpiling tinned food in a shed.
The 66-year-old former motoring journalist turned tractor enthusiast shared his approach in his Sun column this week, responding to former No. 10 speechwriter Clare Foges. Foges said she had followed advice from Environment Secretary Dame Angela Eagle, who warned last month that people should start storing supplies in case of extreme weather events. Foges has tinned food stocked up in her garden shed, a move that left Clarkson somewhat incredulous.
Clarkson's doubts about tinned supplies
In his usual boisterous style, Clarkson pointed out that if the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse did come clip-clopping into town, a tin of beans probably wouldn't save you.
'What exactly does she think is going to happen when her neighbours, who didn't prepare and are getting desperate, decide to help themselves to her supplies?' he wrote.
He also noted that if the world really is ending, people should treat themselves to something a bit nicer than a can of chickpeas.
His plan: the pub
Clarkson's big plan for the end of all things is to go to the pub - specifically, his brewery, avoiding the queues at the Farmer's Dog, which he suggested would be worse than a bank holiday during Ragnarök.
'If things do get ugly,' he wrote. 'I won't be in a shed with some seeds, nuts and probiotic supplements.
'I will be in my brewery with a hamper from Fortnum's and a big, daft grin on my face.'
