Beckham: Family at War Review – A Breathlessly Ridiculous Half-Hour of Noise
Channel 4's latest documentary, Beckham: Family at War, has arrived amidst a media storm already saturated with coverage of Brooklyn Beckham's public fallout with his parents. This 30-minute primetime offering attempts to carve out a niche in a story dissected by news reports, memes, TikTok deep dives, and thinkpieces, but ultimately delivers a baffling experience that prioritises noise over substance.
A Documentary Geared for the Terminally Online
Fully geared towards the sort of terminally online person who already knows the drama in forensic detail, the show paradoxically airs on a midweek evening when such an audience is unlikely to tune in. It opens with a wildly plucky introduction, juxtaposing global events like "Trump and Greenland, tension in the Middle East and ICE in Minnesota" with Brooklyn's "online honesty bomb," setting a tone of exaggerated importance for what follows.
The recapping of the story is breathlessly ridiculous, relying on talking heads who range from Instagram to TikTok users. These contributors often react to their own posts from dingy settings, with one exclaiming, "I looked at his story and I was like 'Oh my God,'" establishing a baseline of superficial expertise. The documentary skims over key reverberations, such as DJ Fat Tony's context on This Morning or archive footage highlighting awkward Beckham family moments, offering little beyond surface-level explanations.
Lack of Insight and Fleeting Substance
Some substance briefly surfaces with the inclusion of a psychologist and a resilience coach, who contextualise the challenges of growing up in the public eye, and a discussion on trademarking children's names. However, these elements are quickly waved away, perhaps out of embarrassment at taking the subject seriously. The interviewees carefully both-sides the issue, with some sympathising with Brooklyn as a nepo-baby ragdoll and others praising David and Victoria Beckham's brand management.
A telling moment comes when an interviewee declares themselves "Team Drama," emphasising that the messiness and fame involved matter more than the actual events. This encapsulates the documentary's approach: it's less an investigative piece and more a celebration of a media event that briefly united the country, akin to a weird mutation of I Love the 1980s shows, but focused on a recent Instagram saga.
A Triumph of Noise for Noise's Sake
In essence, Beckham: Family at War is a triumph of noise for the sake of noise, exhausting in its lack of new information or insight. It serves as The World at War for those banged on the head, filled with a lorryload of content creators flapping their hands without adding value. For viewers seeking depth, this documentary falls short, offering only a shrill, half-hour spectacle that capitalises on celebrity drama without meaningful exploration.
