In this week's advice column, Jane O'Gorman addresses a reader's secret sexual affair with his sister-in-law, a father's disgust at his ex-wife's influence on their daughter, and a woman's constant worry about not being good enough.
Secret Affair with Sister-in-Law
A reader confesses to a secret sexual affair with his sister-in-law, who has turned to him for comfort after his brother's infidelity. They meet twice a week at a motel, using plastic sheets and fresh towels, and engage in activities involving whipped cream and melted chocolate. The reader feels guilty and confused, torn between loyalty to his brother and his long-term girlfriend.
Jane advises the reader to end the motel trysts immediately, stating that the affair is inappropriate and dangerous. She emphasizes that his partner and brother need to trust him, and he can only offer emotional support to his sister-in-law. Regarding her relationship with his brother, Jane suggests she confront him about his loyalties or take time apart to think about the future.
Double-Dating and Boyfriend Swapping
A father expresses disgust that his ex-wife and 18-year-old daughter are double-dating and swapping boyfriends. The daughter is seeing a man the ex-wife briefly dated, while the ex-wife is now with a 22-year-old stripper. The father cannot reason with his ex, who spent all his savings on plastic surgery.
Jane advises the father to explain his worries to his daughter and offer an alternative lifestyle by playing a more active role in her life. She notes that the ex-wife is trying to relive her youth through their daughter, which is pathetic.
Constant Self-Doubt
A woman writes that she constantly worries about not being good enough as a parent, partner, daughter, or employee. She feels nervous about everything and hates her appearance, despite others telling her she is efficient and organized. She doubts her partner's love.
Jane reassures her that feelings of inadequacy are common and advises her to appear confident, say no when needed, appreciate the good things in life, and give herself a break.
