As the turquoise seats of the Miami Dolphins stadium come into view, memories of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective flood back. Arriving for the 2026 World Cup quarter-final between England and Norway, the Hollywood razzmatazz is alive and well. There is no dolphin in a pond, but a stage large enough for a UK arena venue dominates one corner.
Pre-Match Spectacle and American Flair
Walking in, a singer in gold with a full backing band performs American classics, fitting for the Hard Rock Stadium branding. Two cheerleaders in orange and black — a supposed blend of England's white and Norway's red — whip up the crowd with enthusiastic cries of “Come onnn!” A giant boxing announcer on screen asks, “Arrrre you readdyyyyy?” and signs off with “Let’s get ready to rumble!” Fireworks and smoke in both countries' colours leave a pink haze and a musty smell.
Hydration Breaks and Celebrity Cameos
The hydration break — a very American invention — is met with boos, but in Miami's heat, many fans dive for plastic fans or head for exits. David Beckham appears on screen before Harry Kane's free-kick, drawing huge cheers. Half-time features lengthy adverts for Coca-Cola and mobile networks, followed by DJ Steve Aoki trying to sway the crowd with electronic dance music. He jumps around like an embarrassing uncle, then is handed a birthday cake that he smashes into the male cheerleader's face.
During the second hydration break, fans belt out Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer, and one England fan waves two beers at the camera. The full-time whistle at 1-1 brings muted reaction; Guns N' Roses' Sweet Child O' Mine plays as fans conserve energy for extra time.
Extra Time and Final Whistle
At half-time of extra time, the big screen shows Sir Mick Jagger, photobombed by a man wagging his tongue. Gasps of disappointment follow when Erling Haaland is substituted — his shirts are everywhere, worn even by US and Mexican fans. England win 2-1, but Norwegian spirits stay high. Both sets of fans remain in the stadium, with England's team taking acclaim on one side and Norway's applauding their supporters. John Stones repeats his injured-shoulder joke before fist-pumping.
As the stadium empties, the turquoise seats prompt one last thought: What would Ace Ventura make of it all?
