Strictly Come Dancing winner Ore Oduba has revealed he contemplated suicide during the lowest point of his secret 30-year battle with porn addiction. The 40-year-old, who has decided to speak out after years of keeping his addiction private, hopes his story can highlight the damage he believes explicit content can do to young people.
Admitting Suicidal Thoughts
For the first time, Oduba has admitted to having suicidal thoughts during his lowest points. He said he felt unable to come clean and was fearful of the impact his admission would have on his family.
Speaking to Jan Gerber on the Rich Powerful and Not Enough Podcast, Oduba said: "I knew I didn’t want to. I guess I had created a world that on the outside seemed like everything I wanted, but I needed to break out."
Fear of Consequences
He continued: "And I knew if I broke out, then there was gonna be an implication for everybody that I loved. And that the easiest thing would be just to remove myself from that equation."
Oduba admitted he felt shocked to find himself thinking that way, saying he didn't know how he could break the thoughts. "I guess, you know, for me, my addiction had been such a through line my entire life," he said. "It was always there. It was just a constant. It was always the thing that I could go to, but I never spoke to anyone about it. Never to friends, never to family, never to partners in relationships."
Career and Personal Concerns
Oduba previously admitted he feared what might happen with his work and personal life if he admitted his addiction. Speaking earlier in the month to performance development coach and author Annalie Howling on her Happy After podcast, he said: "I’m sure, you know, ten years post Strictly Come Dancing, there is a kind of unwittingly a PR machine that has kind of created a reality of who I am publicly and naturally."
He added: "You know, I’ve been really fortunate to have lots of wins and lots of different areas, and I’m really proud of where my career has gone. And so, yeah, the idea of something potentially knocking that all back is quite worrying for a lot of people. But I thought, for me, no one I know, and having already lost so much in my life - my dad, my sister, my marriage - and going, I’ve already been prepared to push buttons in my life in order to save it."
"I thought if I can explain the message and the why to the people who are investing in me, care about me, and love me, I would hope that they would join in the fight. And if they don’t, they’re not the kind of people."
If you are struggling with mental health, you can speak to a trained advisor from Mind mental health charity on 0300 123 3393 or email info@mind.org.uk.
