The sex-positive community has distanced itself from Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, following his arrest on federal charges including sex trafficking and racketeering conspiracy. Accounts of his alleged ‘freak off’ parties—involving group sex, kink, BDSM, and public masturbation—have drawn comparisons to alternative adult lifestyles, but practitioners insist there is a crucial difference: consent.
Sophia Iannicelli, executive director of the Pan Eros Foundation, a Seattle non-profit promoting consent and sexuality, said: ‘People in our community don’t want to be equated with people who are under investigation for things that include sexual misconduct and coercion.’ She warned that figures like Combs can damage the reputation of the sex-positive community and discourage openness about unconventional sexual practices.
The Consent Academy, an educational arm of Pan Eros, defines consent as ‘a shared feeling, created together through a process of constant, collaborative discovery’ based on voluntary agreement without coercion. Co-director Asha Lerae highlighted that power differentials—such as between an employer and employee—make mutual consent nearly impossible. ‘If you are a music mogul holding a career over someone’s head, consent becomes problematic,’ she said.
Hercules Liotard, a Vermont sex educator and pleasure coach, stressed that intoxication also negates consent. ‘Intoxication takes away consent,’ he said. While some in the community engage in ‘chem sex’ using drugs to enhance experiences, most are wary of drugs and excessive alcohol.
Despite the controversy, Liotard noted that non-traditional sex events—including kink, BDSM, and swinger parties—are widespread across the US and Europe. ‘It’s really all over if you look,’ he said, citing active communities in states like Florida, Texas, and Utah.
