Charlotte Crosby has revealed that she has suffered a second miscarriage in five months. The former Geordie Shore reality TV star, who is mum to Alba and Pixi, took to Instagram to share the news with her followers.
A heartbreaking announcement
In a statement on her account, the 36-year-old said: 'Last month, we got the news we'd been hoping for. We found out we were pregnant.'
'It's no secret that we've been trying to grow our family, so you can imagine the overwhelming happiness we felt when we saw the positive test.'
'There are no words to describe how happy we were. Being a mother is, without a doubt, the greatest gift life has ever given me.'
Mixed emotions and a devastating scan
'Nothing brings me more happiness than being a mam, and so the thought of growing our family filled Jake and I with so much happiness and excitement.'
'Especially after experiencing a silent miscarriage earlier this year, this pregnancy came with a lot of mixed emotions and nerves. It was a combination of happiness and fear at the same time.'
'We didn't reach that stage in our last pregnancy, so that scan felt like a huge reassurance, and we both relaxed a little. We started really envisioning life as a family of 5… a future with 3 kids! We planned how we would tell the girls, and even started thinking about names. The definition of cloud 9.'
'The nerves were still there deep down, as they are with every pregnancy…and to be honest those nerves never go! Even when your baby is in your arms! But we kept ourselves busy between the 6 and 8 week scans, filling our days with lots of fun adventures with the girls. Jake was our rock, as always. He held the fort, looked after us all, and filled the house with laughter and fun.'
'Unfortunately on our 8 week scan our world came crashing down, as we got the news we'd been petrified of all along….'
'I'm so sorry, the baby's heart has stopped beating. It felt like someone had ripped our hearts out of our chests. We lost another baby, another silent miscarriage.'
Gratitude and processing grief
'We are incredibly lucky, and I can't even explain how tight I've held these girls this last week!'
'Having them both will always be the greatest blessing we have ever received. You feel that even harder after experiencing a loss like this!'
'I love you both so much. My precious girls! Seeing them as big sisters was something me and Jake were made up about. Believe me they'd be the BEST most caring big sisters.'
'Last night was The Wave of Light, a global event held to mark the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week.'
'And last night, everything just felt so heavy. The sadness felt heavy. The heartbreak felt heavy.'
'I realised that maybe I haven't really allowed myself to process everything that's happened. I've kept myself busy, stayed strong and tried to be as present as possible for the girls. It's been Alba's birthday, and I've wanted to make sure her days have been filled with nothing but happiness and love.'
Sharing her story
'As crazy as this sounds for the last 16 years I've shared my whole life with my followers, putting my feelings into words on here helps me make sense of it all. Having somewhere to share my emotions helps me from keeping them bottled up.'
'I'm not sure where we go from here and the future feels a little uncertain. We would absolutely love to grow our family however the fear of feeling this heartbreak again is terrifying.'
'I wanted to share this because this is my life, and this is our story.'
'Sometimes sharing the hardest parts helps me carry them a little more easily. And if you're going through something similar, you're not alone.'
