Strictly Come Dancing judge Anton Du Beke has spoken publicly for the first time about a harrowing incident from his youth when his alcoholic father stabbed him, an attack that left him hospitalised for four days and permanently ended their relationship.
The 60-year-old dancer grew up in a council house in Sevenoaks, Kent, with his two younger siblings and his parents, Ascensión and Antal. His mother had fled Franco's Spain, while his Hungarian father had escaped following the 1956 revolution.
Antal struggled with alcoholism and subjected the family to years of violence. The situation came to a head on Boxing Day, when Anton was in his mid-twenties.
The attack and its aftermath
While on the phone to his dance teacher, Anton was stabbed by his father in the leg and stomach. He managed to escape outside and flag down a passing police car before being rushed to hospital, where he spent four days recovering.
Recounting the aftermath to The Times, Anton said: "The police carted him off, [but] after [the stabbing] I never laid eyes on him again."
He admitted he did not know whether his father had faced charges over the attack, revealing that shame had led him to hide the truth from those around him. Instead of telling people what had happened, he claimed he had torn a hamstring.
Why he stayed silent
Asked why he had been so reluctant to discuss his father, Anton said: "To what end would I have talked [about my dad]? It would have made no difference at all."
He also explained why therapy had never appealed to him: "I don't know why! I'm sure it helps some people. It wasn't for me. You crack on. I knew what I wanted to do and I went on to do it."
Anton, who lives in Buckinghamshire with his wife and their nine-year-old twins, stressed that his father's actions had not defined his own life, particularly regarding alcohol. "I don't want people to think it defines me, but everybody's an armchair psychologist. They go, 'Oh, I see!' No, I promise you don't see," he said.
Reflecting on the past
The Strictly judge, who has been part of the BBC show since it began in 2004, also spoke about how he and fellow judge Craig Revel Horwood, who has previously discussed his own abusive alcoholic father, choose to reflect on their experiences. "Well, it's funny, isn't it? Like all these things, any good story turns into a lovely anecdote with time," Anton said.
He continued: "I don't want to be 85 looking back going, 'Oh, I wasted a lot of time worrying about that.' It was then, not now. I'm a 60-year-old man with two children. Why am I bothered about all of that? I can't be. I have to move on."
Anton's father passed away in 2001, with the dancer recalling the unexpected phone call that brought the news. When asked if he wanted more details, Anton's reply was straightforward: "Oh, excellent. OK. Thank you." He said the caller was taken aback by his response, but the news had not greatly affected him.
His mother, Ascensión, is now in a nursing home after developing dementia, a situation Anton described as particularly heartbreaking given the person she once was. "She was an extraordinary woman, so to see her diminished in this way is tragic," he said.
Steps in Time: The Moments that Made Me by Anton Du Beke is out on November 5.
