Strictly Come Dancing judge Anton Du Beke has spoken about a childhood attack by his alcoholic father that left him in hospital for four days and ended their relationship permanently.
The 60-year-old dancer grew up in a council house in Sevenoaks, Kent, with his two younger siblings and parents, Ascensión and Antal. His mother had fled Franco's Spain, while his Hungarian father escaped after the 1956 revolution.
Antal struggled with alcoholism and subjected the family to years of violence. The situation reached a climax on Boxing Day when Anton was in his mid-twenties.
Stabbing and hospitalisation
While on the telephone to his dance teacher, Anton was stabbed by his father in the leg and stomach. He managed to get outside and flag down a passing police car before being taken to hospital, where he spent four days recovering.
Reflecting on the aftermath in The Times, Anton said: "The police carted him off, [but] after [the stabbing] I never laid eyes on him again."
He said he was never sure whether his father faced charges over the assault, adding that he felt ashamed about what happened and initially hid the truth from those close to him, instead telling them he had torn a hamstring.
Moving on from the past
Asked why he had not been more open about his father, Anton said: "To what end would I have talked [about my dad]? It would have made no difference at all."
He also explained why he never felt the need to pursue therapy: "I don't know why! I'm sure it helps some people. It wasn't for me. You crack on. I knew what I wanted to do and I went on to do it."
Anton, who lives in Buckinghamshire with his wife and their nine-year-old twins, stressed that his father's behaviour had not shaped his own life, particularly regarding alcohol.
"I don't want people to think it defines me, but everybody's an armchair psychologist. They go, 'Oh, I see!' No, I promise you don't see," he said.
Reflections and family
The Strictly judge, who has been part of the BBC show since it began in 2004, also discussed how he and fellow judge Craig Revel Horwood, who has previously spoken about his own abusive alcoholic father, reflect on their past.
"Well, it's funny, isn't it? Like all these things, any good story turns into a lovely anecdote with time," Anton said. "I don't want to be 85 looking back going, 'Oh, I wasted a lot of time worrying about that.' It was then, not now. I'm a 60-year-old man with two children. Why am I bothered about all of that? I can't be. I have to move on."
Anton's father died in 2001, and the dancer recalled the sudden phone call delivering the news. Asked if he needed more details, Anton replied: "Oh, excellent. OK. Thank you." He said the caller was taken aback by his response, but the news had not affected him much.
His mother, Ascensión, is now in a nursing home after being diagnosed with dementia. "She was an extraordinary woman, so to see her diminished in this way is tragic," he said.
Steps in Time: The Moments that Made Me by Anton Du Beke is published on November 5.
