If you have a problem that needs solving and you don't know where to turn, look no further. Every day, the Daily Star's very own agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues, drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn't slowing down. If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Dangerous Game
My partner meets another man for sex. Every night at 7pm she takes the dog ‘for a walk’ and goes round to his place for a bonk. The other night she didn’t get back until 10pm and looked very flushed. She muttered that she’d met an old school friend and they’d gone for a drink in the local pub. The problem is that I know she’s lying. I’ve been following her for weeks. I know where her lover lives. I’ve spied them kissing through his front room window. I’ve even taken sneaky pictures of her entering his premises and him kissing the other women he beds. I know I should confront her but don’t know where to begin. Any tips?
JANE SAYS:
Pick your moment and (calmly) present her with your proof. Ask her what she’s playing at. What pushed her into the arms of another man and who is this geek? If she needed a release, then why didn’t she talk to you? Many people enjoy a little risk, excitement and naughtiness in their everyday lives, but she’s been lying to you and putting your sexual health in danger. She must understand how serious and hurtful this situation is. Is she able to promise that nothing like this will ever occur again? Sadly, if you can’t get the assurances you need then you will have to consider your position. You deserve better.
House of Horrors
I’ve moved in with my partner and realise I’ve made a terrible mistake. Her home is chaotic. It’s a hotbed of shouting and conflict and it’s all her fault, because she never gives her kids a break. If she’s not screaming about messy bedrooms, it’s homework. I don’t feel that I can criticise my partner, because this is her place and ours is a new relationship. The other night she had a yelling match with her son (15), and I hid in the bathroom because I was so stressed. What is my role?
JANE SAYS:
Ask for a heart-to-heart chat. Explain that you love her but need to know what you can do to help. What about cooking and cleaning the house while she goes out to get some exercise or sees a friend? You could also support your new stepchildren with homework and bedroom blitzing. I agree that criticising isn’t a good idea, because your partner won’t appreciate being knocked back. Ultimately, actions can speak louder than words and there’s loads you can do to support her. Any new arrangement takes a while to settle down. However, do encourage her to see her GP if she’s struggling to cope.
