Sir Ian McKellen was reduced to tears after reading a deeply moving passage while reflecting on his 'coming out' journey in a new episode of Sky's Tea with Judi Dench.
Dame Judi Dench welcomed her close friend Sir Ian McKellen for a frank discussion about their remarkable lives both on and off the stage. From stage fright and the self-doubt of acting to global stardom, the pair looked back on the challenges and hardships they have each encountered.
An Emotional Reading
Near the close of the episode, the duo were seated in Dame Judi's garden when Sir Ian read an emotional extract from one of his beloved books, Tales of the City, which moved him to tears. The author, Armistead Maupin, penned a series of novels about life in San Francisco, featuring a prominent gay character.
Sir Ian read aloud a poignant letter the character had written to his mother: "I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write, mama. Every time I try to write to you and papa, I realise I am not saying the things that are in my heart..."
The letter continued: "I have friends who think I am foolish to write this letter, and I hope they are wrong. I want to tell you the truth that your own child is homosexual. I'm sorry, Mama, not for what I am, but for how you must feel at the moment. I know what that feeling is, for I felt it for most of my life- revulsion, shame, disbelief."
The character concluded: "I know what you are thinking now, you are asking yourself, 'What did we do wrong?' 'How did we let this happen?' 'Which one of us made him that way?' I can't answer that, Mama, and in the long run I guess I really don't care, and all I know is this - if you and Papa are responsible for the way I am, then I thank you."
At that point, Sir Ian sighed and said: "Judi, whenever a gay man reads this, it gets them," he sniffed as he grew visibly emotional. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" he said before apologising for his tears. "Don't be sorry, don't ever be sorry," Judi responded, clasping her friend's hand as she too began to well up.
Coming Out and Activism
Sir Ian publicly came out as gay in January 1988, at the age of 48. He made the revelation during a live radio debate concerning Section 28, a deeply contentious piece of legislation put forward by Margaret Thatcher's government that sought to ban local authorities "intentionally promoting homosexuality or publishing material with the intention of promoting homosexuality".
When asked whether he wished to see Section 28 scrapped, he replied: "I certainly would. It's offensive to anyone who is - like myself - homosexual, apart from the whole business of what can and cannot be taught to children." And that April, he helped establish the LGBT rights charity Stonewall, named after the riots in New York City's Greenwich Village. Section 28 was ultimately fully repealed in 2003.
One Regret
Earlier in the episode, the star revealed his "one regret" in life was failing to come out to his mother and father sooner. "I have few regrets in my life, but that's one of them, that I didn't talk," he confessed.
Tea with Judi Dench is streaming on Sky Arts, Freeview, and streaming service NOW.
