Etiquette experts have weighed in on a common texting phrase, suggesting that 'Sorry, just seen this' might actually be doing more harm than good. The phrase, often used as a polite white lie to cover a delayed reply, has come under scrutiny in a recent episode of the podcast Help I Sexted My Boss, hosted by etiquette guru William Hanson and DJ Jordan North.
William Hanson described the phrase as his pet peeve. 'I get it, life is busy, we can't respond to every message when it comes in,' he acknowledged. 'It's like an overpoliteness correction. You don't need to pretend you've only just seen it. I think that makes it worse.'
Experts suggest honesty over excuses
Instead of using the phrase, Hanson recommends simply responding to the message or saying 'sorry for the delay in replying.' He stressed that pretending not to have seen the message is a significant etiquette faux pas in his eyes.
Rupert Wesson, of Debrett's Etiquette Training, told Metro that the phrase is often used as a figure of speech. 'People tend to say "just seen this" as a figure of speech, and it can mean "I have just seen this" or "I saw this and forgot about it" or "I saw it and was waiting to see if I was free",' he explained. He argued that while you shouldn't take it personally, 'truth is usually the best policy'.
Public divided on the phrase
On Instagram, opinions were split. @discomartinez wrote: 'Absolutely, William! I usually admit that I read the message, then got distracted by something. Honesty is the best policy.' @supersarn added: 'Completely agree with William on this.' @Georgeiancooper agreed, saying it's basically another way of saying 'Sorry, I saw this but ignored it.'
However, not everyone sided with Hanson. @kimarablefarmer wrote: 'From someone with a fairly chaotic ADHD brain, I genuinely don't see messages as I'm distracted so easily by anything else. I also feel genuinely bad that I've let the other person feel ignored, so I would always apologise.' On TikTok, @yascaoimhin called it a 'perfectly fine' phrase, while @georgepressey723 joked that Hanson's argument 'feels like a personal attack.'
Alternative phrases recommended
Wesson suggests saying 'I am so sorry to be getting back to you so slowly' instead of 'Sorry, just seen this.' Laura Windsor, known as the 'Queen of Etiquette,' agrees. 'If you've seen the message and simply haven't had time to reply because you've been busy, the best thing to do is to be honest,' she told Metro. 'A simple, "I'm terribly sorry for my late reply!" followed by a proper reply is all that's needed. And perhaps finish it with "Apologies again!"'
Windsor acknowledged that 'honesty and a little courtesy go a long way,' but emphasised that it's not as drastic as Hanson makes it out to be. 'Some people may perceive it as rude because they are easily offended, but you have to look at the bigger picture,' she said. 'If it's a repeated pattern, then yes, it can come across as rude or dismissive. But if it's a one-off, and the person normally responds to your messages promptly, there's really no reason to take offence.'
