Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand daily to tackle readers' issues with straight-talking advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence and drug use, she has helped thousands over the years. Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters, and not all problems will be published.
Three's a Crowd
A reader says his girlfriend wants her female lover to move in with them, believing all three can live and love in harmony, sharing one bed and the bills. He feels difficult for hesitating, having only recently discovered the secret girlfriend when he came home and found them kissing on the sofa. They invited him to join, but he declined. Now his girlfriend is pressuring him, saying she's sick of pretending and that he should accept the other important person in her life. He doesn't want anyone else in his home and questions if his reluctance makes him a dinosaur, feeling their relationship has been a sham.
Jane advises he shouldn't feel obliged to share his home and must be strong. She suggests talking about his feelings and how she's taking advantage and moving the goalposts. She asks if she accepts he has a say and whether a third party was ever the plan. Jane notes that having sex with another woman is still cheating and raises concerns about sexual health, urging a GP check-up. She warns to be prepared that she may choose her lover over him.
Ought for Nought
Another reader with a high-powered job complains that his mother won't do anything unless paid handsomely upfront. Over summer, she and his stepdad looked after his dog for three weeks, demanding £30 a day plus food. Now she wants £500 for the Christmas and New Year period. Yet she helps his sister's kids for free, and his stepdad charges him the going rate for DIY while working two days a week for a local charity. He asks how that is fair.
Jane responds that his parents clearly feel he can afford to pay, given his impressive salary. If they struggle on a fixed income, his payments could be the difference between a cold and warm home. She suggests spreading the cash around, as they keep his dog safe and provide peace of mind. She advises giving them what they need and being thankful for the support, adding that his sister's situation and stepdad's charity work are not his concern.
Rogue Trader
A final reader says her partner is a rogue with dodgy business partners who rips off gullible punters. She is forced to pretend he's a good man, especially to his adoring parents who would be broken to learn of his police record. Being in their company is excruciating, and the pressure to play along is destroying her.
Jane asks why she stays with someone so toxic, noting it's not her job to cover his tracks. He needs to own his behaviour and change for the better. She advises speaking to people she trusts about breaking free, as she's being crushed under the weight of his dishonesty. She adds that the 'apple doesn't fall far from the tree' and his parents probably know exactly what he's like, since they raised him.
