The Traitors star Freddie Fraser has unveiled his new boyfriend in adorable pictures, kissing in a photo booth. For the most part, the response has been an outpouring of love and support. But the reaction from large swathes of the queer community has been bitterly disappointing.
The 22-year-old appeared on the third series of the BBC’s reality show while in a long-term relationship with his ex-girlfriend, Nisha Davenport, who he met at university. Davenport was by his side as he navigated the precarious showbiz industry until they split last year. Now he’s found love again, this time with social media influencer Bailey Ramsden.
Backlash over the term 'queer'
The natural response from the LGBTQ+ community, you’d imagine, would just be to welcome Freddie with open arms. Instead, it sparked a backlash from corners of the community who are both offended by the term ‘queer’ and determined to affix a label to someone who hasn’t yet given himself one. Freddie is yet to discuss his sexuality beyond confirming he has a boyfriend.
Drag Race UK winner Danny Beard joked, ‘Welcome to the club, gayyyy boi,’ to which Freddie replied, ‘LOVEEEE XXXX’ – but still, I wouldn’t jump to conclusions that this confirms his identity in black and white terms. Regardless, he’s already being labelled ‘gay’ by strangely impassioned men who refuse to use the term ‘queer’ – which is how the reality star is widely being referred to by the media.
Divisive word with a painful history
‘So he’s a homosexual then. Stop with the “queer” business, it was old in the 90s and it’s even older now,’ and ‘He came out as gay, what’s with the “queer” nonsense?’ are just two of the countless tweets protesting against calling Freddie by the term. Another said ‘that is a slur’ and seemed to compare it to the N-word.
Of course, the word remains divisive within the community. Well within my lifetime, ‘queer’ was used as a derogatory slur against LGBTQ+ people, myself included – but it has recently been reclaimed to describe, essentially, anyone who doesn’t feel they fall under ‘heterosexual.’ In Freddie’s case, it feels appropriate to use a blanket term like that because he hasn’t been clear about how he identifies.
Why labels matter in the community
While people argue over Freddie and the word queer, I think it’s more useful to understand why many of us within the community are so quick to label, especially when it comes to public figures. In 2022, following the success of queer TV show Heartstopper – lead Kit Connor felt forced to come out as bisexual after many critics within the community were so quick to assume he was straight and accused him of ‘queerbaiting’ – a term used to describe figures who hint at queerness to attract LGBTQ+ fanbases.
Harry Styles is widely criticised as patient zero of queer-baiting with his flamboyant outfits, camp concerts and homages to the LGBTQ+ community, despite never having been forthcoming with a label – and neither should he have to be. However Freddie wishes to identify, it’s a shame such a moment can’t just be celebrated without the community ripping each other apart over semantics.
No one is forcing anyone to use a word they’re not entirely comfortable with but like with most words, the meaning is in the context. Clearly, no one is calling a young man declaring his love publicly for another man ‘queer’ to shame him – it’s simply to give him the respect to define himself and reveal how he wants to be defined by others in his own time. Freddie has a boyfriend – but he can identify a number of ways, if he even wants a label at all. Whatever he chooses, our community should celebrate him.
