Helen Massy-Beresford, a British journalist who has lived in Paris for many years, argues that Parisian waiters are not rude but rather misunderstood. She challenges the longstanding stereotype that Parisian waiters are brusque and unwelcoming, a reputation that led Paris to be voted the unfriendliest city in the world by some travellers.
Cultural Misunderstandings Behind the Stereotype
Massy-Beresford explains that the perception of rudeness often stems from cultural differences. In France, it is considered incredibly rude to enter a shop or restaurant without greeting the staff with a polite 'bonjour'. Many visitors unknowingly break this golden rule, leading to thousands of daily snubs for waiters in tourist-heavy areas. This, she suggests, can understandably leave them feeling grumpy.
The journalist notes that this cultural gap was acknowledged before the 2024 Paris Olympic and Paralympic Games, with campaigns aimed at improving Parisians' understanding of tourists to better welcome visitors.
Professionalism and Career Waiters
Another factor is the professional nature of waiting tables in France. Unlike in some other countries, being a waiter is a respected career with formal qualifications and progression. Waiters take pride in their work and may appear bossy when they insist on the 'right' way to do things—such as discouraging a well-done steak or suggesting white wine with choucroute. Massy-Beresford argues this is not snobbery but a desire to ensure a good dining experience.
Positive Experiences and Kindness
Despite the reputation, Massy-Beresford shares numerous positive experiences, including waiters who bring crayons for children, allow desperate kids to use the loo, or even offer to cut up a croque monsieur or hold a baby. She concludes that Parisian waiters often provide excellent service with a smile, something she has rarely encountered in London.
Her advice to visitors: always say 'bonjour', and if you disagree with a waiter's suggestion, politely stand your ground—this usually leads to a warmer exchange.
