Nick Dawson, whose identical twin brother Simon was murdered in 1998, says he is at peace with the killers' freedom after meeting one of them through restorative justice. Both men convicted of Simon's murder are now out of prison, and Nick, 58, says he has accepted it.
Simon Dawson was beaten, stamped on, and dumped in a pond to die after a night out clubbing in Bromborough, Wirral. The attackers, 19-year-old Carl Harrison and 16-year-old Craig Roberts, attacked him for his PIN number, kicking and stamping him unconscious before throwing him into a pond, where he died.
A Surreal Mirror to Mortality
Nick, speaking from his Surrey garden, described the moment he identified Simon's body at the mortuary: "I went to the mortuary and saw him… like looking at myself when I would be dead." For an identical twin, he said, it was a life experience that stays with you for the rest of your life.
In the immediate aftermath, Nick and his family were consumed by rage. His father, shattered by grief, called Simon's death an "execution." Nick describes in his book how his father had contemplated using a connection to the "Liverpool underworld" to get physical justice in prison.
Restorative Justice Meeting
Seventeen years after the murder, Nick received a request to consider meeting Craig through restorative justice. He wrestled with it right up to the moment the door opened. "Even though I'd been a year in preparation I was still thinking, 'Am I betraying Simon by doing this?'" he says.
Nick was surprised at how nervous and shy Craig appeared, with hunched body language and eyes down. Yet the connection came quickly. "It didn't take long for us to sort of connect and talk," he said. "He was the last person to touch Simon… the last person to hear him speak a word."
Genuine Remorse and Forgiveness
Nick believes Craig's remorse was real. "Having spent three and a half, four hours with him, we saw more than enough to see the genuine remorse, and the apology was a genuine response." Nevertheless, he admits: "I forgive what happened, but I can't say publicly that I would forgive them. I'd like to get to that place at some point in time."
Nick did not meet the other killer, Carl Harrison. "I got enough from meeting Craig," he says, explaining he worried Carl might not show the same accountability and that it could "undo" the work he's done to rebuild his life.
Rebuilding and Advocacy
Nick, a former BP employee who took early retirement during Covid, now volunteers in prisons and works with restorative justice charity Why Me, as well as supporting the Restorative Justice Council. He still lives with PTSD, nightmares, and intrusive fears for his children.
His new memoir, Face to Face: Finding Justice for My Murdered Twin Brother, is out now in paperback from Icon Books.
