A Norfolk woman has opened up about the painful realisation that she overlooked the glaring signs of her partner's long-running affair, signs that were apparently obvious even to her own mother. Jessica May, a 36-year-old former primary school teacher turned content creator, endured what she describes as two "hellish" years of deception before finally confronting the truth about her relationship.
The Mother's Blunt Confrontation
Jessica recalls that the first hint came during what she thought was a trivial argument with her mother. Her mother suddenly confronted her with a shocking statement: "Just because he's having an affair doesn't mean you can speak to me like that!" This unexpected revelation sent Jessica rushing upstairs to confront her boyfriend of ten years, who was recovering from a hangover under the duvet. When she demanded to know if he was cheating, he offered a blunt and simple denial.
Years of Deception and Denial
Despite this initial confrontation, Jessica's partner continued his affair for two more years, during which she experienced what she describes as "lies, gaslighting and tears." She admits to begging him to stay, desperately trying to salvage their family unit for the sake of their two children, now aged nine and four. Throughout this period, there were numerous red flags that Jessica now recognises in hindsight.
The tell-tale signs included:
- Working significantly longer hours at his finance job
- Constantly being on his phone
- Frequent overnight stays with friends when taxis were supposedly "impossible" to find
- Noticeably reduced Christmas gifts (she later discovered his mistress received a designer handbag)
The Damning Evidence
Weeks after her mother's initial outburst, Jessica finally obtained the evidence she needed. During a family lunch outing, her own phone had run out of battery. To soothe their youngest child with white noise, her partner handed over his phone. Seizing this opportunity, Jessica discovered text messages exchanged with his lover - messages that dated back to when she was giving birth to their younger child.
"I left him where he was... and he knew, I don't know how he knew, but he knew," Jessica recalled on the Made by Mammas podcast. "And as I was walking away, he came after us. I very calmly said to him, you're not coming home with us. It's probably the only time I was really the strongest out of the whole thing."
Further Proof and Continued Deception
Even after this discovery, the deception continued. Jessica found a receipt for an expensive Mulberry handbag from John Lewis in his work bag - a gift that never reached her. Her partner claimed it was originally intended for Jessica but that she "didn't deserve" it, so he returned it. However, when Jessica checked with the store, they confirmed no such item had been sent back.
The situation reached another low point when her partner allegedly lied to avoid a family cruise. Upon returning home, Jessica noticed the house wasn't as she left it and discovered her rival's pyjamas, a condom, and a golf scorecard in her partner's work bag.
The Emotional Aftermath
Jessica describes falling to the ground in tears multiple times, devastated by the betrayal and worried about how she would support her children. "I'm looking at my children and I'm thinking, 'What are we going to do? How are we ever going to survive this? I don't have a job, I don't have any way of putting a house over your head,'" she shared.
In a desperate attempt to save the relationship, Jessica joined a gym, had Botox treatments, and stopped breastfeeding their youngest child. Despite these efforts, her partner eventually moved out in July 2022 to continue his relationship with his mistress, who the children now affectionately call "step-mummy."
Meeting the Other Woman
In a surprising turn of events, Jessica eventually met her partner's mistress after the other woman called her following an argument with Jessica's ex-partner. "[She] told me everything, she answered all of the questions... She just said, you were actually correct with all of them," Jessica revealed. The two women met the next day, with Jessica admitting she wanted to understand "what's so special about her."
Despite the painful circumstances, Jessica has found some peace in how her children are treated. "She's a very nice, very nice girl. She's still part of their life now. And you know, she spends time with my children and takes care of them, and I am really grateful to her for how she treats my children," she said.
Moving Forward
Recently, Jessica moved out of the home she once shared with her ex-partner into a new house. To mark this milestone, she decided to share her story with her 1.6 million Instagram followers, despite initially feeling "embarrassed" about being cheated on. She hopes her experience will help break down taboos and support others going through similar situations.
Reflecting on the experience, Jessica noted that her oldest child once told her she was glad her parents broke up because "they are now both happy." While the journey has been extraordinarily difficult, Jessica's story represents a powerful narrative of survival, resilience, and eventual acceptance in the face of profound personal betrayal.
