Dawn French has addressed the taboo subject of suicide in her new book, following the tragic death of her father when she was just 19 years old. The 68-year-old comedian and actress opens up about ageing, mortality, and the lasting impact of her father's suicide in her latest work, Enough.
Reflections on Suicide
French told The Times: "I've faced a lot of my thoughts and fears about it." Reflecting on her father's death in 1977 at age 45, she added: "Suicide lives in my brain in a way it might not for somebody who hasn't experienced it so closely. And as I've got older, I want to talk about the big things. I set out to write something I'm a bit afraid to admit; that getting older is difficult, end of life is difficult, suicide is difficult."
While thoughts of suicide have crossed her mind as she ages, French stresses: "I don't think I would ever make this choice," though she admitted she can understand why some people do.
Father's Struggle with Depression
The Vicar of Dibley star revealed that her father "lived his whole life with this suicidal ideation and with depression." She noted that while she does not know all the details, she knew he had previously attempted to take his own life while training at RAF Halton.
Further Loss and Coping
French suffered further heartbreak in 2012 when her mother, Roma, died shortly after being diagnosed with lung cancer. "My mum's gone now, but my brother, Gary, and I always talk about it. Just to check in on each other and to make it OK," she said.
Following her mother's death, French admitted it became harder not to think about mortality. She previously shared: "But I would hope to be totally optimistic about my own death. That's why I am grateful for the example shown to me by my mum. I remember one day coming back from a hospital test which was not good and mum said, 'Well it's a win-win situation.' I replied, 'And how do you see that?' and she said, 'Well, either I stay here with you guys or I go and see your dad.' And that is what she 100% believed."
Finding Happiness
Despite her grief, French says she still has "too much love for" those around her and continues to find happiness in everyday life with the help of her career, loved ones, and home life.
If you need to talk and don't know where to turn to, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit the website to find your local branch.
