Manchester City have been found guilty on virtually all charges relating to breaches of Premier League financial regulations, a verdict that shocked nobody. The club maintains its innocence, but the comparison drawn is to OJ Simpson.
Possible sanctions and tainted legacy
Potential outcomes include relegation, stripped titles, record sanctions, or a paltry fine. Whatever the result, an appeal is expected to drag on, leaving City's recent dominance tainted. Every cup and title will carry an asterisk, similar to Lance Armstrong's seven Tour de France titles.
A scene from The Damned United is recalled, where Brian Clough, played by Michael Sheen, tells Leeds players to throw their medals and caps into the dustbin because they never won them fairly. The suggestion is that City should do the same.
Calls for a proper punishment
The columnist argues that City could be responsible for the biggest footballing injustice since Father Ted used fake arms to win the All-Priests Over 75's match. He notes that cheating never worked for him, recounting a failed attempt to cheat in a snail race by removing the shell, which only made the snail more sluggish.
Once City's appeals are concluded, a proper punishment is deemed vital. The columnist calls for City to be made an example of to prevent such flagrant behaviour, citing corruption in football driven by money and greed. He also references FIFA president Gianni Infantino, who remains in his job despite attempts to sell off the World Cup.
Proposed deterrent
The columnist's proposed punishment is that every City executive and the whole squad should be forced to watch every episode ever made of Mrs Brown's Boys before every game. This, he argues, would serve as a deterrent for other clubs to play by the rules.
