Independent readers have expressed growing scepticism towards traditional, extravagant weddings, with many citing financial strain and modern life pressures as key reasons to opt for simpler, more affordable ceremonies or extended engagements.
The Financial Burden of Traditional Weddings
Reacting to recent commentary on the rise of long engagements, a wave of responses from our community highlighted widespread concern over the exorbitant costs associated with marriage celebrations. Some couples reported spending tens of thousands on a single day, while others managed to wed for just a few hundred pounds, demonstrating that commitment need not come with a hefty price tag.
Readers shared numerous accounts of happy, low-cost weddings, but noted that societal pressure for lavish events often makes traditional ceremonies less appealing. The combination of high expenses, demanding careers, parenting responsibilities, and past relationship experiences frequently leaves couples without the time or energy to organise a large-scale wedding.
Life's Curveballs and Practical Priorities
One reader, who has been engaged for seven years, explained how life's unexpected challenges—including children, job losses, and illnesses—delayed their plans. "The huge cost also halted things; five figures to show off for one day? For signing a piece of paper?" they wrote. Instead, the couple chose to invest in a house deposit, planning a future registry office ceremony with close family. "Frankly, it's not that important in the grand scheme of things," they added, pointing out that cohabiting couples are often treated as married by the government anyway.
Indefinite Engagements and Symbolic Commitments
Another commenter observed that many modern engagements appear to be indefinite, serving as a public symbol of commitment without the immediate legal formalities of marriage. "I also hear very many people saying they aren't getting married ever or yet 'because it's so expensive and/or a fuss'," they noted. This reader married during lockdown with just three weeks' planning, spending only £150, mostly on the licence. "Getting married doesn't have to be expensive – it's the overblown celebrations of the wedding that cost the money, not the wedding itself," they emphasised.
Historical Perspectives and Family Experiences
One contributor reflected on their own wedding 48 years ago, which cost roughly £40, acknowledging that inflation makes direct comparisons difficult. Their children organised their own weddings, avoiding wedding planners and keeping costs low, with one exception being a destination wedding in Mexico that still remained under £3,000. Engagements in the family were brief and practical, rarely lasting more than six months.
Legal Protections and Financial Realities
A reader who entered a civil partnership after 30 years together did so primarily for legal safeguards, stating, "No need to waste thousands on one day." Another highlighted the inheritance tax implications for unmarried couples, noting that surviving partners in marriages inherit assets tax-free, whereas cohabiting couples may face significant tax bills, especially when property is involved.
Time, Energy, and Emotional Bandwidth
Middle-aged couples with previous relationships and teenage children described lacking the "time, money or emotional bandwidth" to plan a wedding. For them, engagement serves as a satisfactory placeholder until life allows for a ceremony done their way. Others, like a couple who married quickly in 1989, argued that simplicity is achievable if desired, dismissing delays as "just a lot of excuses."
Successful Low-Cost Celebrations
Several readers shared positive experiences with budget-friendly weddings. One organised a celebration for 120 guests, including a marquee, church booking, and Cornish cream tea, all for under £10,000, thanks to help from friends. Another had a £5,000 pub wedding with a hobbyist photographer, avoiding the "w" word in initial vendor discussions to keep costs down.
Broader Social Factors
Commenters also pointed to broader trends influencing wedding choices. With divorce common, some suggested that children of separated parents may be wary of marriage. Others stressed that high spending doesn't enhance marital quality, with one noting their sub-£1,000 wedding 20 years ago was both affordable and meaningful.
Overall, the consensus among readers is clear: in an era of financial pressure and busy lives, low-cost, no-fuss weddings are not only practical but increasingly preferred, challenging the notion that matrimony requires extravagance.
