More than a quarter of all divorces between opposite-sex couples in England and Wales last year were among those who had been married for 20 years or longer, according to the Office for National Statistics. The figures show a shift away from the traditional "seven year itch" towards what one academic called "the longer itch".
Later divorce on the rise
Of the 102,879 heterosexual divorces in England and Wales last year, 26 per cent were between couples who had been married for 20 years or more, representing 27,180 couples. By comparison, 23 per cent were between five and nine years (24,052 couples) and 22 per cent between ten and 14 years (22,197 couples).
Professor Emma Hitchings of Bristol University, who led a national study into the financial arrangements of divorcing couples, said: "We are moving away from the seven-year itch to the longer itch." One factor "may be the cost of getting a divorce itself".
International trend and celebrity splits
The trend has also been seen in America and Japan, where it has been dubbed the "grey divorce". In Japan, the Mainichi Shimbun newspaper reported that 24 per cent of divorces last year were between couples of at least 20 years' standing.
Lisa Pepper, a divorce lawyer at Osbornes Law, told The Sunday Times: "The largest percentage of cases I see are after a long marriage. Staying together for the sake of the children is true." She added: "It's also about affordability: being at a stage in life where sufficient wealth has been accumulated to have two homes and small or no mortgages, and pension funds large enough to be able to share them fairly and both have a good standard of living."
Historical context and empty-nest syndrome
Since records on marriage duration began in 1963, the largest proportion of divorces each year has almost always been among couples married for five to nine years, proving the truth of the popular perception of a seven-year itch. It was only in the mid-1980s when the five-to-nine years category was briefly relegated to second place, after a new law cut the minimum term of a marriage from three years to one. It is still impossible to get divorced before the first wedding anniversary. Legal aid for family matters, except domestic abuse, was cut in 2013, making divorce an expensive proposition.
Jeremy Todd, head of Coram Family Lives, a national free helpline for families in crisis, said: "Parents stay together for the sake of the children. Often empty-nest syndrome is the big reveal that there's nothing really that's keeping the couple together once their shared parenting has gone." Over his 18 years at the helpline, he said the reason couples break up after so long together has consistently been poor communication and unresolved tensions. "Obviously, if all you're left with is the tumbleweed of all the issues that remain unresolved, then it's unlikely that over time that's going to sustain you," he said.
Recent celebrity splits illustrate the trend. In May, Tess Daly, the former Strictly Come Dancing presenter, announced she was separating from Vernon Kay after 22 years of marriage, and that there were "no other parties involved". Last week the newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky announced she had separated from her husband of 20 years. In 2023 Downton Abbey star Hugh Bonneville announced he and his wife, Lulu Williams, had split after 25 years. In 2019 Colin Firth announced he was splitting from his wife, Livia Giuggioli, after 22.
The average length of an opposite-sex relationship ending in divorce has risen from 10.7 years in 2000 to 13 years last year, the longest since records began. Because same-sex marriage was only legalised in 2013, there is no comparable data on couples of more than 20 years.
