A mother of two from Bath has discovered that most of the money she believed was set aside for her children's future has been spent by her husband without her knowledge. Elena, 42, thought the family had built a healthy savings pot of around £38,000 for their two children, aged 12 and nine. However, when she suggested using some of the money to pay for their son's school trip, her husband reacted angrily, and she later found the account held just £4,200.
Elena told consumer champion Sarah Davidson that she and her husband had paid £300 a month into what they called a "future fund" for years, along with birthday money, Christmas money and Child Benefit. Her husband, who handles the household finances, has admitted he "just borrowed" around £30,000 from the savings to cover day-to-day expenses after "a bad patch" at work. He has also said the money is not really the children's because the savings account is in his name.
Elena said she feels betrayed and is worried the family may be in debt. She has found credit card apps on her husband's phone that she did not know existed and is concerned he is "secretly bankrupting" the family. He has reportedly become defensive whenever she raises the issue, saying she would be forcing him into a debt solution that would deprive the children of future savings.
Legal position on the savings
In response, Davidson advised Elena that the legal ownership of the money depends on the type of account. If the savings are held in a Junior Isa, the money belongs to the child, and a parent cannot simply take it for household bills. However, if it is an ordinary savings account in the husband's sole name, calling it a "future fund" does not automatically make the money the children's property.
Davidson noted that there could be a case to dispute the money as solely the husband's savings if there is a clear record of whose money went in, whether it was gifted to the children, and what was said or written about the intentions for it. She advised Elena to take individual legal advice if the dispute continues, noting that this would involve fees.
Steps to protect finances
On the immediate issue, Davidson advised Elena to reassure her husband that they will get through it together and draw a line under what has happened. She suggested asking him, calmly, to sit down next week to go through the finances together, when the children are out.
Elena was advised to ask for bank and savings statements, every credit card and loan statement, the mortgage balance, business borrowing, overdrafts and investments, going back 12 months. Davidson also recommended that both partners check their own credit reports with all three credit reference agencies – Experian, Equifax and TransUnion – as different information shows up on each.
Davidson pointed out that marriage alone does not make a person liable for a partner's debts, but a joint mortgage, overdraft or loan makes each borrower responsible for the whole balance if the other cannot pay. She advised Elena to look at joint accounts today and ask the bank whether both people can be required to agree before money is taken out, and to make sure statements and alerts come to her own phone or email.
She also advised against signing a consolidation loan, further advance or guarantee until the full financial position is known, and suggested that her husband speak to StepChange or another free debt adviser straight away. Elena can also do this independently, Davidson said.
Wider pattern of behaviour
Finally, Davidson advised Elena to be alert to the wider pattern of behaviour. One hidden account does not automatically mean financial abuse, she said, but blocking access to information, pressuring someone into debt or making them afraid to question money can be warning signs. She suggested looking at charities Surviving Economic Abuse and Refuge for guidance.
For now, Davidson said, Elena's job is to protect her access to the joint finances, insist on the paperwork and seek independent advice. Trust can be rebuilt, but only after both partners are aware of the full picture.
