Dating apps boomed during the pandemic, with Tinder hitting three billion swipes in a single day in March 2020 and breaking that record over 100 times since. But a darker side has emerged, with many users—particularly women—reporting high levels of harassment and abuse.
A 2020 Pew Research Center study found that 57% of women online daters aged 18 to 34 had received unsolicited sexually explicit messages or images. The same study indicated that 19% of women aged 18 to 35 had been threatened with physical harm, compared to 9% of men. A separate 2017 Pew study revealed that 36% of online daters—roughly one in three—found their interactions extremely or very upsetting.
Writer Shani Silver, who used dating apps for a decade, described being treated “like I was being used for free sex work”. She often received requests for sexual favours before even learning a name. Youth-culture writer Nancy Jo Sales called the abuse “not normal” and “never should be normal”, noting the emotional and physical risks involved.
Platforms have introduced measures to curb abuse. Tinder uses machine learning to detect abusive messages and prompts users to reconsider before sending. Bumble introduced AI to blur explicit images, requiring user consent to view them. Some apps also use photo verification to prevent catfishing. However, Silver says these efforts are “better than nothing – but I think we have a long way to go”.
The persistence of harassment raises questions about policing by companies and governments. As Nancy Jo Sales warns, “we need to talk about the harm coming to people”, even if not all experiences are negative. The block button remains the primary recourse for many users.
