Ellie Kildunne Reveals Post-World Cup Loneliness and Motivation Struggle
England's Red Roses superstar Ellie Kildunne has opened up about experiencing a profound sense of loneliness and questioning her purpose after the euphoria of winning the Women's Rugby World Cup last year. The explosive full-back, who was instrumental in England's triumph on home soil, admits that returning to the week-to-week drudgery of club rugby led to a significant emotional dip.
From World Cup High to Club Rugby Reality
Kildunne scored a spectacular solo try in the 33-13 final victory over Canada at a sold-out Allianz Stadium Twickenham, playing in front of 82,000 fans. Just four weeks later, she found herself back at the Twickenham Stoop, representing Harlequins against Loughborough Lightning in front of only 2,929 spectators. The stark contrast in atmosphere and scale left the 26-year-old grappling with her motivation.
"You are playing in front of a sold-out crowd at Allianz, you have just won a World Cup, and the next minute you are back playing over the road in front of a slither of the amount of people," Kildunne explained in an interview with BBC Sport. "There was that little bit of a dip in 'why am I doing this?'"
The Struggle for Internal Drive
Despite being named the 2024 World Rugby women's player of the year, having a Barbie doll created in her likeness, and featuring on the Independent's list of most influential women, Kildunne acknowledges the challenge of maintaining drive. "I needed to rework that out – how am I going to keep pushing myself from within, to keep wanting to do my best and stay completely focused," she revealed.
The transition from the intense camaraderie of the World Cup camp to solitary living in Reading proved particularly difficult. "I went from playing Guitar Hero every night with my team-mates to going back to living on my own in Reading. Suddenly I was like 'wow, I feel really alone,'" Kildunne confessed.
Valuing Support and Setting New Goals
Kildunne emphasizes the importance of discussing emotional fluctuations, noting that "there is going to be good and bad emotions and things that I want to talk about." She has learned to value her support network more deeply, recognizing that "it made me value the times that I have got with people."
As the Red Roses prepare to return to action in the Women's Six Nations this weekend, with their match against Ireland at Allianz Stadium already selling over 70,000 tickets, Kildunne remains ambitious. England are targeting an eighth consecutive Six Nations title, but Kildunne's sights are set even higher.
"I still want to be the best player in the world and to keep on playing my rugby," she declared. "I want to win another World Cup. I want to win a Prem [with Harlequins]. There is so much I still want to do." Her ultimate goal is the 2029 World Cup in Australia, demonstrating that despite the post-tournament challenges, her competitive fire continues to burn brightly.
