Radio X DJ and stand-up comic Toby Tarrant, who is half English and half Norwegian, is guaranteed to claim victory when England face Norway in the World Cup quarter finals, regardless of the result. However, he admits he fears the Three Lions may need extra help against a near-perfect Norwegian side.
Toby Tarrant's dual heritage and loyalties
Tarrant, son of TV icon Chris Tarrant and Norwegian presenter Ingrid Dupre, grew up in Esher, Surrey, and visits Norway regularly. He doesn't speak a word of Norwegian but feels his loyalties are "split down the middle" between the two nations. He plans to wave flags of both countries while watching with friends.
Norway's perceived perfection
According to Tarrant, Norwegians are "ridiculously nice, very tall, very good looking and smell nice." He contrasts their wholesome activities like hiking with English drinking culture, stating, "Their country is perfect. Whenever I visit there, I realise that they are better than us in every single way."
Footballing concerns
Tarrant notes that the only area where England has historically outperformed Norway is football, but that may be changing. He describes Erling Haaland as having the "Viking build" and being the "greatest striker in the world," while Harry Kane "looks like he should be working in IT." He doubts England's usual "dark arts" will work against the overly nice Norwegians.
Potential distractions and curses
Tarrant suggests England could distract Haaland by discussing his interests like Minecraft, Viking sagas, and luxury handbags. He also mentions the Daily Star's curse on Norway using runic alphabet, noting that many Norwegians still believe in trolls and curses.
Personal recommendations and Edinburgh Fringe
Tarrant recommends visiting Oslo, the fjords, and Bergen (if it's not raining). He warns that Norwegian beer is poor but seafood is excellent. He is performing his debut Edinburgh Fringe stand-up show 'Utter Bloke Nonsense' and hosts Radio X weekdays from 10am to 1am.
