Sinitta has described watching her former best friend Lauren Silverman begin a relationship with her ex-boyfriend Simon Cowell as a 'bitter pill to swallow'. The 62-year-old I'm A Celebrity star previously admitted she once believed she would settle down with Simon and start a family, until he met the 'love of his life', Lauren.
However, Sinitta now says their relationship has 'evolved' into something more akin to siblings, insisting there is 'no awkwardness' between them. Speaking to Closer magazine, she explained: 'Simon and I are like siblings, we squabble like siblings and we love like siblings! There is a soul connection between us but there's no sadness.'
Sinitta also addressed comparisons to Jennifer Aniston in the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie love triangle, stating she does not see herself in that light. Regarding Lauren's feelings, she said: 'I'm sure Lauren doesn't love it - but if people ask me about my past, it's my life story. I don't feel that she is any way threatened by me.'
Reflecting on their shared history, Sinitta added: 'People don't realise Lauren was my best friend, we genuinely liked each other and had a foundation of friendship. I had to adjust to things changing, and yes that was a difficult pill to swallow, but this is where my faith comes in, you have to forgive - otherwise what do you do, live a life full of regret? It's all good now.'
Earlier this year, Sinitta admitted that her marriage to ex-husband Andy Willner was a 'revenge move' against Simon, and that forcing herself to remain friends with Lauren amounted to 'self-harm'. The 80s pop icon made these revelations on the Suddenly Single podcast, where she opened up about decades of heartache over the X Factor creator.
Sinitta first met Simon in a London nightclub in the early 1980s when she was a teenager. She confessed she always believed they would end up together, despite their on-off romance spanning over 20 years. 'I was trying to make that relationship it,' she said. 'His narrative was just be patient, and you'll have everything you want. I assumed everything I wanted meant a normal family life with him. And then he met the love of his life and had a child. Silly me.'
The So Macho hitmaker described her 2002 marriage to businessman Andy, with whom she adopted children Magdalena and Zac, as a reaction to Simon's refusal to commit. 'The man that I married was actually a lovely person,' she said. 'It was a bit of a revenge move at the time, but it developed into something. But even during that relationship, it was obvious that there was unfinished business [with Simon].'
Sinitta revealed that her pride and the public nature of her relationship with Simon drove her to seek 'retaliation relationships' to prove she was not waiting around for him. 'It would be, "Well, if he's done that, then I'll date Brad Pitt, I'll date this model",' she said. 'But always intentionally thinking we will be together when we stop being crazy.'
The singer also discussed the emotional toll of maintaining her friendship with Lauren, who started dating Simon in 2013 and is now his fiancée. The couple share son Eric, 12, of whom Sinitta is godmother. 'She and I were best friends,' Sinitta said. 'We still worked together. We still got on with it. So I did a lot of, I think, self-harm by trying to squash all my feelings.'
Learning that Simon, who had always told her he never wanted children, was expecting a baby with Silverman was 'the end of an era'. 'I didn't handle it very well,' she said. 'It had always been off, on, off, on, off, on. And I just thought that we were... I mean, we used to call ourselves Tom and Jerry.'
Sinitta, who previously revealed she had an abortion during her relationship with Simon in the 1980s, said therapy eventually helped her understand why she clung to the Britain's Got Talent boss for so long. 'Apart from my mother, he was the constant person in my life,' she explained. 'When I'm on tour and becoming famous and all of that, there was still him everywhere or him at the end of the phone. So I think I'd found a sort of security in that person.'
Growing up on the road with her mother, Canadian disco singer Miquel Brown, left her craving stability - and Simon, along with his parents, provided it from a young age. 'When you start figuring out those things, you go, "oh, so that's why I did that",' she said. 'I really didn't want to see the truth. I didn't want to have to realise that he doesn't love me the way I love him. I couldn't, I didn't want to know that.'
Despite the emotional revelations, Sinitta appears to be in a positive place. She confirmed she is still seeing a mystery man based in Miami, contradicting reports last month that the pair had split. 'I still really like him,' she said. 'I think once you get to a certain age and you know what you want and what you like and if you care about someone and you get on, it's actually exciting, it's fun.'
She added that the long-distance nature of the relationship suits her lifestyle, having recently completed a pantomime run in Yorkshire. 'You don't get tired of each other, you don't get overfamiliar,' she said. 'I've been on tour, I've been doing pantomime and I'm doing anything I want to do, and then I have this lovely person that's in my life as well.'
The singer also said her time being single taught her to stop being 'some chameleon who's supposed to just mould and change into whatever the next man kind of idealises'. She added: 'I learned to bend myself to someone else's wills and wishes. To actually be like, do you know what? I don't even like this, I don't even like that. And to have time to grow up and grow into me and realise what I'm actually all about.'
